Unexpected
by Defiant.Anjeru
Summary: They never agreed; yet the passion and attraction was undeniable. When he left that night, he left far more than he or she realized. Hawke escaped the heartbreak, and the city...but was not alone, not really. F!Hawke/Fenris/Fenbabies! Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

Notes: I just got through like my millionth time through Dragon Age 2, this time in a rivalmance with Fenris. This idea came to me as a result. I hope it goes all the way! It starts in the middle of Act 2.

First chapter is smutty- ^_^

* * *

><p>Fenris was scowling to himself. Why was he here? He was sitting in Hawke's house, on one of the benches near the door. His heart was racing; his palms were sweaty; his throat was dry. He growled into the silence presented to him. What in the Maker's name was wrong with him? What had <em>she<em> done to him?

He was here, trying to find some kind of…truce with the mage. Her ways were not his; she supported the mages without hesitation. Time and time again, they clashed on her decisions and each time his hatred for her grew ever stronger. Then why could he not stop thinking of her? Why did she haunt his dreams? Scratch that – why did she haunt his _every_ waking moment?

By the time the door opened, Fenris had worked himself into a rage.

"Fenris?" His name was poised as a cautious question. Her voice made a delicious shiver run down his spine; it was sweet, and spicy given their relationship, seeming to float through the air only to wrap around him and cause him to burn hot with a passion he had never felt before.

He growled.

Before he even realized what he was doing, he was on his feet and stalking toward her. He stopped a mere foot away and found himself staring into endless pools of cerulean seas that threatened to drown him. When he spoke, his voice was much rougher than he intended it to be. "I have been thinking about you, in fact, I have been able to think of little else." He searched her eyes for some clue as to what she felt in this moment, but he felt that if he didn't go on, he would falter and leave, as he had every time before; indeed, this was not his first trip to her home. He had visited several times while she was out, with this same feeling, only to lose his nerve and disappear before she returned.

"Command me to go, and I shall."

Hawke's eyes widened a slight at those words and for a second, he was pleased. A smirk crawled across his lips and he set his hands on her shoulders a little more roughly than he wanted. At times, Fenris could have sworn he really was more of an animal than a man. Her lips parted and a shaky breath escaped. He expected her to pull away; he wouldn't blame her if she did. She would, if she had any good sense at all. She would tell him to get out, if she had any sense of self preservation.

"Fenris," she whispered his name and then gave a saucy little smirk that sent his mind reeling. "Shut up."

He swore he almost was floored at that moment, but he could not help himself after those words. Before he even knew what he was doing, the elf had grabbed the mage in his arms and brought her against his leather clad chest. His chest heaved and hers' did in return, their eyes consuming each other's faces with a raw intensity that made their souls burn as hot as any mage's fire. "Necroditei," he growled her name and crushed her more tightly in his arms as his lips descended fast and hard to claim hers' as his own. They came together again and again, for a very long time, and by the time he lifted his head, they were both panting, out of breathe. She smiled slyly and then, before he knew how it happened, she turned him and pressed him to the wall.

"Fenris," she whispered his name again and this time claimed him. Their lips mashed together as if they had always belonged that way. He was uncertain; he had always lacked control, but this – the way she had control over him – it was the most glorious feeling, like the sun burning hotly in his abdomen. He growled like the wolf he was named for, his gauntlet-clad hands sliding up to grasp her firmly in her auburn curls. She made a noise of pleasure and opened her lips, his tongue darting in to explore every inch of her, often, snippy mouth.

Things were spiraling out of control he knew, but Maker forgive him, he didn't think he could even stop. This…_thing_, whatever it was, this feeling – this ache – he had for her, it had to be quenched or he feared he would lose grip on reality and go insane.

His hands clenched in her hair and even though it was a tad painful, she did nothing but mew her pleasure into his mouth. It was intoxicating, this. He ravished her mouth, time and time again, turning his head this way and that, to eat at her from every possible angle – he couldn't get enough, no matter how many times their lips played off each other. "Perhaps," he pulled his lips away, only a slight, holding her hair firmly as he peered down into her deep eyes, "we should use a touch of discretion and take this to your bedchamber…if that is your wish."

"Andraste's flaming ass, of course it is." Her cursing had always been endearing to him; she was almost as bad as him. "Don't you _dare_ stop now."

He couldn't help but chuckle, nipping her lower lip. She squirmed with what almost seemed to be a whimper; whatever that sound was, it was doing amazing things to him that he couldn't even begin to describe. "I am yours," he muttered hotly against her lips. She moaned and pressed herself against the length of his body, her fingers trailing over his pointed ears so softly his entire body shivered out of pleasure. Then they slid up into his amazingly white hair, clenching tight.

"Maker's breathe, Fenris, you better get me upstairs, _now._" She growled.

He shuddered. Sliding his hands down her body, he hooked his hands on her bottom and lifted her against him. She took the hint and set her legs astride his hips. Even as he began briskly stalking through her house – thanking the maker the entire way that it was empty – they continued to kiss and touch, moan and growl; keeping their hands off of each other seemed impossible.

His foot bare foot nudged the door to her bed chamber open, so that they could stumble inside, before he kicked it closed behind them. He made quick work of the distance between them and the bed, tossing her down on it. She squeaked and stared up at him with impossibly wide eyes. "We are just getting started," he assured her. She sat up on the edge of the bed and he proceeded to kneel on one knee before her. As he reached out his hands he faltered; just a moment, wondering if really this was what they should be doing. In the end, he realized it would be cruel to stop here and his hands continued on their mission to the ties of her robe.

Now, Fenris was beyond skilled in the use of his hands, but he was unfamiliar with the way mage's robes worked; he began to grow impatient when they could not part the clothe hiding her body from him. With a growl, he hooked the material in his gauntlets and simply tore the garment open. She squealed with surprise and he smoothed the material off of her, whispering elven words he dared not say in her language. She melted under his touch, paying no mind to her now torn robes.

Hawke blushed in a moment of shyness as the robes came away from her, leaving her on her bed in her under clothes; modest enough they were, a simple, yet sexy, breast encasing cloth of black, and small clothes that molded to her intimate parts like skin. Fenris' breath caught in his throat at the sight of her body in the low light of her bed chamber; she was ever so pale, as mage's tended to be, her skin alabaster and fragile in appearance. Her breasts were generous in size, milky crests swelling, threatening to spill over the confines that held her chest; limbs were long, impossibly so it seemed, thin but muscled; every part of her screamed delicate, but he knew she was far from.

"You're beautiful," he found himself muttering.

The compliment was unexpected, but she was pleased nonetheless. She smiled and cocked her head, her auburn curls spilling across her long, milky neck, and small, rounded shoulders. "Suave, but a little unfair," she stuck out her lip in a pout, "as I appear to be at a slight disadvantage."

"I see," he drawled the words and smirked. "Very well then. I suppose I should level the playing field." He stood from where he knelt on the floor and began the rather complicated process of removing his armor and clothes. This was something he'd never experienced, he realized; this mutual passion. Her eyes watched every moment he made, eagerly eating up every piece of his lyrium imbued skin. Every now and again, her fingers would twitch, before she finally clenched them in the bed covers; she ached to touch that body so, but she remained patient, swallowing when he was left in nothing more than his trousers.

"Fenris…" She groaned out his name and stood from her seated perch. Her hands were on him so fast, they were both surprised, and then their lips were once again playing on each other. She traced her hands over every inch of exposed skin, following the lyrium etched into his skin. He groaned and nipped her lip, the lyrium beginning to burn beneath his skin. The markings lit up faintly as the passion flared and when her nails dragged down his lean, but muscled chest, his tenacious control snapped.

"You will be the death of me," he swore as he pulled back, sweeping her up into his arms, only to again toss her gently to the bed. She laughed as she bounced softly. "We shall be even then," she mused amongst her mirth.

He chuckled and was quick to pull his trousers from his body, kicking them away, leaving him completely naked. She sat in awe at the sight of him; she had only once seen a man naked but the previous encounter could never compare to the present. He was large; not as if that should surprise her given the blade he carried around with him. Fenris was never just 'all talk'; she should have guessed he had nothing to compensate for.

He growled and knelt over her on the bed, crawling up her body, kissing every inch of her skin that he could. He kissed her breathless, before her head fell back in ecstasy, to which in response, he began to kiss and nip his way down the long column of her neck. His hands found her breasts and made quick work of her top, removing it swiftly. Those long, talented fingers were quick to make their way back, kneading her breasts and pinching at the pink tips; he delighted in every noise she made, but it wasn't long before he felt like snapping into pure and primal hunger.

His hands removed her smallclothes and she blushed hotly, her cheeks flaming pink in an endearing manner. "Don't fret," he chuckled and kissed her again, his fingers trailing up the inside of her thigh. Softly, they made their way to her center, where he was surprised to feel that she burned hot like the fire she so often used on their foes.

He groaned. His fingers touched at her gently, tracing her lips explicatively, before he dared to dip inside of her hot channel. She was wet, and hot, moaning beneath him as her walls clenched around his digits; her body was more than ready and eager to accept him. He pulled his hand from her and grasped her shapely hips, kissing her navel, her breasts, her nipples, her collarbone; all the way back to her lips where he made sure to use his own to drive her crazy with pleasure.

While he had her distracted with his talented lips, he positioned himself over her and in the cradle of her hips. The tip of him touched her briefly and they both jolted, moans spilling into the air around them. "Please, Fenris," she moaned, almost humbling him on the spot; never had he heard her beg for a single thing. His fingers tight on her hips, he kissed her hotly again before he thrust forward to bring himself home inside of her.

They started slow for only a moment, their bodies becoming comfortable with each other before they began to grow more frantic in their need for each other. She grasped his shoulders and hooked her thighs on his hips, her head dropping back with pleasure as he began to thrust hard and fast into her. He couldn't resist; things began to grow hazy and his lyrium brands burned hot all of a sudden, distant memories flashing in his mind. He could see a courtyard, a young girl with fire red hair, an elf, calling a name that he could not hear; before he could grasp on, suddenly it was gone.

He growled as he pushed her closer and closer to the edge, her body tight and hot around him in every sense of word. It wasn't long before the young mage cried out beneath him, her body rippling with pleasure at her release. It was too much for him to see her that way and he followed her, the fragile thread of his release snapping in half. He moaned into her neck and frantically thrust, spilling himself inside of her before slowing and simply resting against her.

Hawke was the first to move, mumbling tiredly about needing to readjust, her body not use to the amount of passion they'd shared. He smiled, slightly touched at that, and lay on his side as he watched she redressed herself in her smallclothes, before climbing beneath the covers and beginning to drift off to sleep. He wished he could do the same, just rest there beside her, but…those memories…they began to plague his mind. After a while, he gave up on resting and climbed up from the bed. He dressed himself and began to restlessly pace the confines of her room.

He contemplated leaving; could he do that to her? He frowned and paced to the fire, leaning against the hearth. He wasn't sure what to think, what to do, it was all too much. He had thought he'd wanted his memories back but now that he'd experienced them, he wasn't so certain. All the memories had brought him was pain, and longing for more, but they'd slipped out of his grasp like pale moonlight and he could not recall them. It was almost unbearable.

"Was it that bad?" Hawke's voice made him start and he turned to face her.

"I'm sorry," he gestured somewhat weakly, not sure what to say at first. "It's not…it was fine."

Hawke's expression fell and she avoided looking at him, her eyes dancing off to the side to look at something inconsequential. He shook his head and sighed, looking away; only to end up looking right back to find that she, too, was looking.

"No, that is…insufficient. It was better than anything I could have dreamed."

Hawke paused a moment before she spoke. "Your markings…they hurt, don't they?"

"It's not that." He looked down with a frown. "I began to remember," he started as he paced a little; Hawke too was sitting up and swinging her legs over to edge of the bed. "My life before. Just flashes…It's too much. This is too fast. I cannot…do this."

Hawke's eyes searched him restless. "We can work through this," she finally pleaded, allowing herself to look hopefully if only for a brief moment.

"I'm sorry. I feel like such a fool," he sighed and found that he had to look away from her if he did not want to fall prey to that look. Why did he suddenly regret this so? "This should never have happened in the first place." He finally said those words, feeling defeated. "Forgive me." He didn't hesitate a moment longer, fearing she would worm her way in and convince him to stay. He turned and, head hanging, he left.

Hawke's eyes lingered on the fire for a long time. She wondered, briefly, if she should cry; it wasn't as if she loved him, right? They didn't even get along. Every day they were at each other's throats about what to do with the mages. He wanted them gone, locked away, never to be free; how could she do that to her own people, when she did not even want it for herself?

Somewhere inside, it hurt. She knew that, and she couldn't deny it. Her eyes watered and with a sigh, she picked up her pillow and hugged it to her chest. Soft sobs wafted into the air and they didn't stop for a long time that night.

* * *

><p>Fenris paced the inside of his manor restlessly, muttering every elven curse that came to mind. The night before was eating away at him; he felt guilty, which, quite honestly, was unpleasant. He had never experienced such an emotion before. He did not like it one bit. He slammed around objects, breaking things in his frustration. "I should go apologize," he finally growled, having entertained the idea since the moment he left. He wasn't sure what good it would do, but he just couldn't leave it like…<em>this.<em>

He made his way to her estate with haste, but paused at her door with weary indecision. Frowning, he let himself in and was surprised to find that manor was in, well, an uproar. Bodahn was talking anxiously with who he assumed was Hawke's mother; he couldn't make out what he was saying but he could hear that the woman was crying. Something in his gut twisted harshly.

"What is amiss?" He questioned as he came to stand in the doorway to the main room.

The older woman – whom he now realized Hawke resembled greatly – started at his voice and spun around to face him with a startled expression. Then it darkened. "You! This is all your fault!" She sobbed out, waving a piece of parchment around wildly.

"I beg your pardon?" He raised a brow and crossed his arms in defense, anger building beneath the surface at being accused for something of which he had no knowledge of.

"She's gone!"

"Leandra, calm down, it will be okay," Bodahn was saying – ah, so Leandra was her name. He made a mental note of that.

"Hawke?"

"Yes, Hawke!" Leandra snapped, stalking toward him angrily. "And it's all your fault! She left because of you! Because you…you broke her heart! She is so giving, so caring and you broke her!"

Fenris winced visibly. Ok…so what happened the previous night was apparently the talk of the town; but what…what did she mean that Hawke was gone? "What are you talking about?" He growled impatiently.

She thrust the parchment at him and gestured to the door. "Just take it and go! Get out!"

Frowning, he paused. After a long moment he took the parchment and muttered an elven curse. "I…I cannot read," he finally growled, thrusting the parchment back at her. She refused to take it back and simply glared at him though tear filled eyes.

"You want to know what it says?" She tore the note from him and read it aloud. Once she was done, she tore it to pieces. "Now get out!"

The woman's anger made him leave with haste, even as shock was settling into his entire being. Once he stood outside, he went over what the woman told him again. Her voice reading Hawke's delicate print; he heard _her_ as he recalled those words, his chest tight.

_Dear Fenris,_

_This night has meant more to me than I thought it ever could. I at last thought we had reached a place where our feelings were the same; I thought wrong. I realized after you left, in the aftermath of our passionate embraces, that what I felt for you was never hate, but a fevered passion; I realized I love you. I spent years denying it – after all, our views on the world are so different, how could we ever reach a compromise? Every day we were at each other's throats, but I never once stopped thinking about you. _

_When you left, something in me broke. You cannot do this? Neither can I, love. I am so tired of being the one relied on, making everyone else's lives bearable, where are my own is filled with only sadness and loneliness and pain. You broke my heart, Fenris. _

_I am leaving; I can no longer be the sole savior of this city. There must be a time when I have to look out for myself – that time is now. I won't ever forget you. _

_Yours in heartache,_

_Necroditei Hawke_

* * *

><p>Notes: Whew! Well. There is the first chapter to my new story idea. One to sort of work on when I am stuck on my main story. =) Leave a review! I'd love to hear from you all!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Notes: I never expected reviews so fast, but thank you! I love reviews! I slept on this and decided to go ahead and sneak in another chapter. I hope you like this one; I encountered a little trouble in working around the Qunari invasion and with who would stand in Hawke's place as champion. ^_^

Without further ado, I present to you, chapter two.

* * *

><p>Aveline Vallen was champion.<p>

Hawke could scarcely believe it. The letter she held in her hands had been read, several times over. No one knew where she was, save one soul, so the letter had traveled through many hands to reach the small house where she was hiding herself.

_Dear Hawke,_

_I don't know why you fled and I am sorry to say that I am sorely disappointed in you; that's what I'd like to say, but I know you must have your reasons. I have known you for many years and I know how strong you are. Even an Ogre couldn't stop you, you saved us all and I wonder now what could have been so painful that it drove you away from us. _

_I miss you, Hawke. _

_That is beside the point, I'm afraid. I've written to update you on the status of Kirkwall; as we feared, the Qunari were never waiting for a ship. It turned out Isabella had stolen their relic. She gave us the slip when we found the relic, disappearing to Maker knows where. As usual, we were left to clean up the selfish whore's mess. The Arishok beheaded Viscount Dumar and without the relic, refused to leave. Isabella never returned and, somehow, Fenris managed to convince the Arishok to a one on one duel with myself. Something or another about being Basalit-an; worthy. I defeated him, somehow, and then thankfully, the Qunari left without further incited violence. _

_Hawke…even though I am Guard Captain and Champion of Kirkwall, it would mean nothing without you. As your friend, I must confess something to you._

_Fenris has been searching for you, though he never left Kirkwall; not until now. Once the Qunari threat was diverted, he said his goodbyes. He vowed to me that he would find you and bring you back to us. I almost hope he succeeds. _

_Lastly, Sebastian did not stick around for long once you left. The prince returned to Starkhaven to take his rightful place as heir to the throne; I wonder perhaps if you've come across him in your travels. I would feel much more at ease if I knew someone I trusted were watching over you. _

_I have news for you…very important news, but I wish to speak to you in person about it. Don't keep me waiting for too longer, it is very important. Please. _

_Wherever this letter finds you, Hawke, I hope it finds you alive and happy._

_-Aveline Vallen._

Hawke's lips were drawn tight as she thoughtfully digested the words for what seemed to be the thousandth time. After the months that had passed without any sign of his following her, she had thought Fenris had let her go and moved past the night they'd shared. She was fairly certain in her belief that it hadn't meant to him what it had to her. Yet…_now_ he was coming after her; she didn't want to know why. Perhaps he was finally coming to confront her, or perhaps even coming after her in a fit of rage for having abandoned all the promises she had failed to keep.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice.

"Reading it again, Hawke?"

Her eyes jumped up from the letter to find a pair of bright blue eyes regarding her thoughtfully. This man – he'd stood by her from the very moment she went seeking for his aid. Perhaps it had been his faith and belief in the Maker that had compelled him to help her, but she wanted to believe it was because their commonalities made them friends; he had never abandoned her, even after all the months that had passed and she found herself in this…predicament.

"Sebastian," she said his name on a sigh from her seated perch on the steps, "he's finally coming after me."

One of his brows jumped up in inquiry. "The elf?"

She nodded solemnly. "I can't face him…not like _this_."

"I could see how you could be frightened," Sebastian said as he came to sit beside her on the steps. He looked over her and, once he was satisfied that she appeared to be harmed in no way, he gently set an arm around her shoulder comfortingly. "You two never did see eye to eye; even you and I don't always see eye to eye, Hawke, but you have always been a pleasant influence to us all. You made me see that I could still hold my faith in the Maker, but still be the leader that my people needed in me." He smiled at her, his eyes kind and gentle. "I must confess, even now, I am still surprised you came to me for help."

"You are my friend, Sebastian; I also knew you had to come back to Starkhaven, your people needed you. I wanted to escape and you're too kind to turn me away," she admitted with a returned smile.

"Oh, you wound me," he chuckled and tightened his arm around her for a slight moment, before drawing it away, afraid of hurting her in her delicate condition.

"What will I do? I can't stay here; I can't let him find me. He won't understand." She groaned and covered her face with her hands. Sebastian's hand moved warmly along the length of her back, comforting her as she desperately thought of what her next course of action would be.

"You can't leave, Hawke. You won't get far like this." He continued to rub her back. "Not even Aveline put two and two together; because we left at separate times, they don't suspect that you are with me in Starkhaven. I doubt Fenris suspects otherwise. He was far too often too deeply involved in his hunt for his master, was he not?" She nodded softly, pain flickering briefly across her features before she managed to bottle them away as she always did. "Who knows if he will really seek you out; if he does, I will be here to protect you should you feel you have need of me, Lady Hawke."

That caused her to laugh softly. "I haven't been a Lady in a very long time, Sebastian." An almost silent sigh slid past her parted lips. She took his free hand in her own and gently squeezed, her eyes looking at him almost helplessly. "I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have you as my friend."

Sebastian gave her a charming smile and squeezed her fingers gently in return, raising her hand to his lips where he pressed a chaste kiss upon her knuckles. "It has been pleasure to watch over you," he said when he lifted his head. "And I will continue to happily do so for as long as you decide you need me." He released her and braced his hands on the step to push up off of the steps. His feet carried him a few feet away before he turned back to face her, the sunlight catching on his royal armor to give him an almost ethereal appearance. "Don't you hesitate to send word should you need me. This is my guest house, I know, so you aren't far, but you do not reside in the estate like I'd prefer. I do worry as the time draws closer – and, mark my words, you will be moved into the estate soon. I won't give you a choice in the matter."

"As you wish," she said with a small laugh, setting her hands on her trouser clad thighs. "Now off with you. I am sure there is some reason or another that the Prince of Starkhaven is needed."

Sebastian departed, swinging himself onto his mare and clicking his feet against her sides to send her into a sprint back toward the main house. Hawke watched until he was gone, before heaving a sigh and slowly pushing herself to her feet, as strenuous as that was these days. She pressed her hands against her aching back and stretched for a long, relaxing moment. The letter was still sitting on the step and she found herself looking at it, almost fearfully.

So…he was coming after her, was he? Oh, this was so not going to go over well. She hoped he didn't head to Starkhaven, but instead to Fereldan, hoping against hoping that he came to that conclusion that she had returned to her home in her despair. It was the most logical assumption; not just for him, but for all of them to assume.

Her eyes drifted down and her hands came to her front, now resting upon her extended middle. _Very_ extended middle. It had been eight months since she'd run from the sound of her breaking heart, leaving the pieces in Fenris' cruel hands. Their night of passion had ended badly; how would this end any better? It was such a cruel, ironic twist of fate, this. Their night together had brought them into a connection they could never sever – one that would continue through into another life.

"I fear for you," she whispered as she rubbed her hand over her belly. "I should have told him, I know…"

The hormones made her ability to bottle her emotions almost nonexistent and, as the mage found herself staring off towards the setting sun, the tears she had fought for so many months to hold back spilled free, sliding down her cheeks to fall upon her hands.

"Oh, Fenris…"

* * *

><p>Fenris growled in frustration, his lyrium brands glowing brightly as he slammed his fist into the ground again and again. He'd been searching for that damned mage for weeks; the woman had left and he could not blame her. He had done the same to her, had he not? He'd spent night upon night dreaming of her, thinking of her, hating her; then, after Aveline had been titled champion, he could not take it any longer. He'd demanded whatever information the guardswoman had, but she only continued to insist that she had no idea where Hawke had run away to.<p>

"Damn you, Hawke," he muttered as he straightened.

His eyes were drawn to the red sash he wore around his wrist; the simple little piece of cloth caused such torture. It was only a constant reminder of _that_ night; a piece of the robe he'd torn from her body in his haste to see her so intimately. His fingers were drawn to touch the simple cloth and they tenderly kneaded the material between the pads of his fingers. He couldn't deny that there was a gnawing ache in his chest, begging and pleading that he go to her; if only he knew where to begin!

"I knew you would be the death of me," he growled, pulling his hand from the cloth. "But where did you go?"

He'd already traipsed the Wounded Coast, questioned the dalish elves of Sundermount, traveled every inch of land he thought she would make her way through. No one knew a thing. It was almost as if she had disappeared off the face of Thedas; the thought made his gut wrench painfully. She _was _a mage. Could she have turned to demons to escape what he'd done to her?

_No! _Hawke would never resort to demons! He _knew_ that. Despite their continuous colliding over mages rights', never once had they disagreed in their belief that turning to demons, and the use of blood magic, was wrong.

"Fereldan?" He vaguely entertained the thought that she may have returned to her home, but only for a moment. He recalled the conversation they'd had; she had confessed that she no longer felt Lothering was her home since the Blight had stolen her sister from her. She wouldn't have returned to Fereldan. "Where else then?" He crossed his arms across his chest, glowering darkly at nothing in particular.

All of a sudden, as if given to him from an unnatural source, the answer came to him; he didn't even have proof to substantiate this sudden overwhelming knowledge of her whereabouts, but he felt it in every fiber of his being that it rang true. Sebastian had left as well; why had not seen it sooner? She'd gone to the one person she knew had business outside of Kirkwall and who she knew was far too generous to turn her away when she was in pain.

"Starkhaven," he growled and, maker forbid, if Sebastian had laid his hands on her in any way other than friendship, Fenris worried for the prince's safety above all else; Fenris' obsession with the mage didn't bode well for any other aspiring admirers should he find her. _And he **would** find her._

* * *

><p>Notes: Please review! =)<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Notes: I am still a little stumped on my main story, so I typed up what was easily coming to mind; just so happened to be the next chapter for this! Probably because my play through with Fenris is the freshest in my mind. Mhm. Oh well, I am loving this story myself, so it all works out fine. = )

* * *

><p>What little Hawke owned was moved into Sebastian's royal estate not shortly after that letter had arrived from Aveline. The prince hadn't given her much opinion on the matter, not willing to put her health at risk to appease her overwhelming ache to hide. She didn't have much time; she <em>was<em> a Spirit Healer, after all. It would be a disgrace if she didn't have any knowledge of the body's signs of impending child labor; Sebastian wasn't about to put her child's life at risk, either. It was a tenacious thing, at best.

Stress did not exactly help her keep her body calm and restful. The thought of Fenris catching her was a constant nag at the edge of her thoughts, her dreams, and she could not escape from it. Vaguely, she wondered if it really would be such a bad thing if the elf found her; he could not hate his own child, could he? She _feared_ the answer to that, almost as much as she feared the idea of being a mother.

"Oh well," she muttered quietly to herself as she took stock of her new quarters. "It's not like I can run from _this_. The Maker does have a sense of humor; Bethany was right."

The room was large by her standards, even larger than the one she'd acquired when they took the Amell estate back from slum-lord slavers all those years ago. A large, king sized canopy bed lay against the fall wall, framed in nicely by a nightstand and wardrobe. There was even a fireplace, coaxed into a side of the room by a crimson carpet and matching recliner-of-sorts. Dressers even, with a large looking glass in which she was more than welcome to admire or loathe her image; an often daily struggle to decide which she truly deserved.

While she was admiring, she failed to hear the door open. Sebastian stood for a moment, leaning against the jam with a shoulder, his arms crossed across his chest. A gentle smile flitted across his lips as he cleared his throat to alert her to his presence. She jumped with surprise and turned, a hand pressed to her breast; when she saw who stood there, she sighed a breath of relief.

"Give a girl a heart attack," she complained with a smile that betrayed her faked irritation.

"You have my sincere apologies," Sebastian replied with a chuckle. "I just wanted to check on you, see how you are settling in."

"This is far more than I deserve, that I can assure you." The mage paced away from him, turning to show her back as feelings she had buried tried to make themselves known. She was beginning to realize that in his presence, she had no control of her emotions; he really was the only friend she had to lean on.

Sebastian frowned at her words and took leave of his perch, moving toward the downtrodden woman who all but seemed hopeless, like she had all but given up. He placed his hands on her slim shoulders and squeezed them reassuringly. "You deserve only the best, Hawke – you're going to be given the greatest gift the Maker has to offer us besides eternal rest at his side; a child. Don't let your estranged relationship with Fenris take away from that."

He heard her sigh but saw the movement of her nodding. "Aye, you are right, Sebastian." She turned, causing his hands to slip from her shoulders, and smiled. "As usual," she added that last bit just because she could.

There was a mutual silence between them, an almost comforting lack of noise. It was such a strange thing, a strange feeling, to have quiet moments such as these. When she had been in Kirkwall, the whole city had always been buzzing with some noise or another. She had felt as though she would never have a moment's peace among the city's seemingly endless parades of chaos.

Sebastian seemed to retreat a step, growing uncomfortable for some unknown reason she could not place. His brows were suddenly drawn together, giving him a somewhat perplexed expression. "Sebastian?" she questioned him with his name, ever so softly, touching the tips of her fingers to the back of one of his hands. He jolted, blinked several times, and then avoided his eyes from her own.

"There was something I wanted to discuss with you in private," he said after a moment.

"This is as alone as we will get, Sebastian," she had to point that out with a slight tinge of amusement in her voice as she swept her hand out to indicate the empty expanse of her chambers.

He smiled sheepishly, but did not bring his eyes back to her. If she didn't know better, she could have sworn to the Maker that he only seemed to grow even more uncomfortable. "It is a rather delicate topic to touch upon," he admitted. "Come, let's sit." He took her hand in his and drew her to the sofa in front of the unlit hearth, first seating her before seating himself; he retained possession of her hand, gently brushing his thumb across the back of her knuckles.

"I admit I have grown more than fond of having you around, Hawke; do not get me wrong though, I would never force unwanted feelings upon you in a state as such as yours. You are a dear friend to me and I wanted you to know that I will always be here for you, no matter your need." He paused a moment to gauge her expression; when he saw that she seemed accepting of his words, he continued on. "I…I also wanted you to know what your child will have a father, if you so wish it. I would step in to care for you both; I would never let either of you suffer." He watched as her eyes widened to an impossible size. It reminded him of a doe who'd been caught by surprise. He couldn't help the smile that nagged at his lips. "If…If the child should take more after your appearance than Fenris', I…I would also allow you to say that the child is of my blood." He tried to choose his words carefully here. "The child would be better off as such, than a half-breed elf, who could very well end up being a mage."

Hawke's expression darkened and she was quick to pull away from him, rising to her feet to pace away. It seemed he had not been able to express himself quite the way he had intended to. There was a long stretch of silence, before she turned back to him, her expression a touch lighter than it had been a few moments ago.

"I would not have you go out of your way – should the child indeed inherit my abilities, and there is a _real good _chance of that occurring, I would not want you to be tied to us. It would do you no good to say you spawned an apostate," her tone was almost bitter, not that he could blame her. Sure, he believed the Circle of Magi was the better option when it came to free mages, but it was never something he had wished upon Hawke; she had always been the exception. She spoke again before he could pipe in with anything. "This…this child, despite the way things have gone, will always be Fenris', Sebastian. Should he find us, I will not deny him the knowledge of his offspring."

Sebastian frowned but nodded in acquiescence. "As you wish, Hawke, but please don't forget my offer. It will stand indefinitely should you decide otherwise."

* * *

><p>Days passed without incident but Hawke had begun to feel more lethargic and weary as time went on. After too long, she told Sebastian she was ordering herself strict bed rest for fear of impending labor; Maker forbid the child decided to be born when she was away from the company of those in the estate.<p>

It was a warm day, without a cloud in sight that her peaceful time finally came to an end; ironically, it was fitting in a weird sense. The cramps came on hard and swift, without warning, wracking her entire body with pains. A gush of fluid escaped from between her thighs and she gasped, hands clutching at her belly in a desperate attempt to alleviate some of the pain by sending waves of healing magic forth to her body and her child's.

Just as she would have hollered out Sebastian's name, a loud crash echoed throughout the house and everything was suddenly in an uproar of voices and sounds of clamoring objects and frenzied steps.

* * *

><p>Fenris stood at the edge of the tree line surrounding the Prince of Starkhaven's estate. It had taken him weeks to travel the distance on foot, then days to extract the information he was looking for. Indeed, an apostate had been seen in Sebastian's company, first housed in a small cottage on the property, and then rumored to have been moved into the prince's own home. His fists were clenched at his sides, his markings flaring so brightly he was silently thankful it was daylight out; his anger was that great.<p>

It wasn't where she was housed that was eating away at his patience. It was the _other_ rumor. The one where the apostate that the prince consorted with was heavy with child; the child rumored to be the bastard of Sebastian Vael.

_She really is no different from any other damn mage. _He growled, his fists clenching so hard that his nails bit into his palms, drawing blood. _She'd consorted with another so shortly after we were together. It's unforgivable. And after I went through all this time and trouble to track her down…_

His lip curled in disgust and he spat angrily at the ground. "I should have known better. I always should have known. She is a _mage_."

His eyes, half hidden under long locks of silver white hair, glared menacingly at the manor before him. He could not harm Hawke; as much as he wanted to, he could not. However, he could at least pay a visit to the damned traitor who'd dared to lay his hands on her…why did that bother him so horribly?

Growling, he swung his great sword from his back and ran to the door of the estate, kicking it down viciously. "Sebastian Vael! Come out and face me like a man!" He screamed the words into the empty room before him, his chest heaving and his brands burning so hotly he was afraid they'd burn his skin clean off his bones. He began kicking and breaking things out of impatience as he awaited the arrival of the prince who was in much need of a good ass kicking. He was more than happy to oblige.

Sebastian's attention was drawn away from the many documents piled up on the desk in his office by the sound of inconceivable commotion coming from what sounded like the main entry hall downstairs. He couldn't make out the voice through all the noise of objects breaking, but that did little to nothing to stop him from bolting to where his bow hung. He grabbed it up and notched an arrow quickly, before running from the room on silent feet to the staircase; whatever threat was making itself known to him would pass no further, not with Hawke in his home.

What he saw stopped him cold in his tracks. He didn't dare lower his bow as he took aim on the elf, taking a direct aim on the enraged man's chest where below his heart lay. "Fenris! Stop this madness!" He snapped out, more than effectively gathering the elf's attention.

Fenris turned his enraged eyes to the man standing on the staircase, his fingers twitching restlessly on the hilt of his blade; could he impale the man before he had a chance to set loose his arrow? As much as he hated to admit it, he doubted that he could. "I will do no such thing!" He growled out.

"Just calm down, Fenris. You need to calm down."

"I will not calm down!" Fenris snapped out, his fingers tightening impossibly hard around the hilt of his sword. "You…_you touched her! _She is to birth _your _offspring." His voice was now suddenly deadly quiet, filled with bitterness and disgust; and something else the prince couldn't quite place.

Sebastian shook his head fervently. "No, Fenris, my friend, you are mistaken!"

"I am not mistaken! You two are the talk of Starkhaven; every able body whispers of the bastard the prince has sired with an apostate."

"No – you _are_ mistaken, Fenris." This was not the voice of Sebastian, but a soft, feminine reply that came from the top of the stairs. Fenris' eyes snapped to the figure now, very slowly, descending the steps of the hall with her arms folded over her very large belly. Her features were guarded, her expression as empty as she could possibly make it; he knew her too well to fall for that. There was pain there, he knew.

"I am not mistaken." He said again though it was clear his anger was wavering. His brands dimmed in their brightness and he dropped his sword onto the tiled floor in a show of defeat; he could not kill in front of Hawke, even if he'd wanted to. He was surprised to see that Sebastian rid himself of his weapon as well.

"You are…" Hawke gasped and clutched at her protruding stomach. Despite the healing she'd performed on herself, she could not stop all of the pain that was coming with the labor. "…mistaken. The child…Fenris, the child is yours." She collapsed to her knees then with a sudden sob and Sebastian was at her side in an instant, swinging the woman into his arms.

"You…you lie." Fenris refused to believe this ruse.

"She does not lie, Fenris."

"I was not aware of this when I left, Fenris. I did not find out for well over a month after I left. By then…I was too afraid to return," Hawke said the words through stifled sobs, clutching at her stomach where the baby inside of her had begun to send jolts of pain through her body more frequently to alert her that it was ready to come into this world.

Fenris couldn't breathe. It was suddenly as if someone had dropped something impossibly heavy on his chest; they might as well have. The light coming from his brands was suddenly gone and he was left standing in a stunned silence. "My…child?" he breathed the words as an experiment, to see how the word felt coming from his own lips. "You are carrying my child?"

"Not for much longer," she gasped suddenly as her head dropped back. "Sebastian! To the room; it's coming, the baby is coming!"

Sebastian did not wait for her to say it twice. As soon as the words had left her lips, he was taking the steps two at a time in his haste to get her to her bed chamber where she could safely become a mother. Fenris wanted to follow, he knew that somewhere inside, but he could not move. It was as if he were rooted like a tree to the tiled floor. He could only watch as Hawke was taken away, his body trembling with the revelation that he would soon be a father.

* * *

><p>Notes: I didn't necessarily want to stop here, but I am tired and it seemed as good a place as any. Poor Fenris; I don't believe I have ever seen him speechless. =D<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Notes: You know, the more I thought about it, I came to see that where I left off was actually not bad. I am not sure how long this story is going to go on for, but it probably won't be too much longer, depending; if it keeps coming to me while I sleep, it will be done in no time.

* * *

><p>His world had spun out of control so terribly; Fenris wasn't entirely aware how he had to come stand in front of the large wooden door that led to the room where Sebastian had taken Hawke. Forget the how, he wasn't even aware that he <em>was<em> standing there until the voices inside reached his sensitive, pointed ears.

"_Andraste's great flaming ass – _this _hurts!" _ It was Hawke. Her naturally soothing, silky voice was tinged with pain and weariness.

"I do not think blaspheme will help," he heard Sebastian chuckle.

"Haha, very funny. " Hawke's laugh was breathless, a groan following once her amusement faded. He could hear worry in her voice now; uncertainty. "You sure you can do this, Sebastian?"

Fenris didn't hear anything for a very long moment and the silence caused so many ridiculous ideas to flit through his mind unhindered; Sebastian holding her, Sebastian touching her, Sebastian loving her – it made his head ache from the intensity of his anger and hatred. His hands curled into fists and he had to trample down the urge to slam his gauntlet-clad hands into the walls on either side of him.

"I have had to help birth a child or two before," Sebastian was saying. "A midwife is not always available when the need for one arises. I would go to find one if I did not fear you would have the baby while I was doing so; it is coming on much faster than I have seen before."

Hawke gave another breathless laugh. It made Fenris' gut clench; it triggered a rush of memories that caused his body to ache with a fevered, unsatisfied need for her. He could suddenly feel her hands on his chest as she laughed, like they had been that night, tracing over the etchings branded into his flesh. Why did he _feel_ like this? Why did his body betray him so horribly? He hated her, did he not?

No…he did not hate her; he never had. He had always hated her _choices_, but never Hawke herself. He realized that now. Even though she was an apostate, a mage who refused to submit to the ways of the Circle of Magi, she was so very different from the others; she was _not _Danarius.

"It is coming on much faster because of my _cursed _magic," he heard her tease the prince and could not help but scowl; Maker almighty…was he _jealous_? "_Maker's breathe_ – get ready, Sebastian. I…I think I am ready to push…" There was a pause and he heard a soft sob follow. "I…I can do this…even if Fenris can't…" the words were whispered so low, he was afraid he had not heard them right; he knew, deep down, he had heard correctly. She was right to be upset; Fenris was a coward.

The words ceased from that point on for a good while. All he could hear now was Hawke; her breathless whimpers, her labored breathing, her groans and cries of pain as she strained to bring forth the result of their night of frenzied passion. One of Fenris' hands lifted and uncurled, his outstretched fingers hovering over the door handle almost helplessly. He wanted to go to her but he could not bring himself to open the door; opening the door was not a simple thing here – if he opened the door, he would be accepting of the fact that this really was his child, his life, his…_love_. Did he even truly know what love felt like?

He could not live without her; that much he knew from the months of sleepless, tormented nights he'd experienced after he'd found out that Hawke had fled from him.

His fingers grasped the door handle and everything inside of the former slave stilled completely; his thoughts, his emotions – there was just a silent, almost deadly, stillness. His heart began to kick up its rhythm, racing hard enough to cause his breathing to speed up in response. His gut was twisting painfully at his indecision.

"_Festis bei umo canavarum_." He muttered those same words that he had repeated disdainfully many time before and pulled the door open; just as he did so an ear splitting, high pitched cry ripped through the air to find home in his ears. It was a…baby's cry.

Everything in that moment froze for him and suddenly it seemed as if he were looking at the room from an out of body perspective; taking in the commotion as if he were nothing more than spectator. He could see himself standing in frozen shock in the doorway, his hand never having left the handle; in fact he seemed to be grasping onto it for dear life, as if it were the only thing anchoring him there. Sebastian was holding a bloody mess of a baby in his arms, pulling a dagger from his belt to cut the cord; he was looking on the babe with a look of pure adoration and it fueled the hatred that burned inside of him. Hawke – now, Hawke, on the other hand – he had never seen her look more beautiful than she did in the moment, her curls mussed, face flushed, and her skin clammy from exertion. His heart clenched painfully.

"Fenris," her weary, exhausted voice jolted him from his experience and he was once again looking at her through his own dark jade eyes.

"Hawke…I…" he trailed off and cleared his throat, releasing the door handle and moving into the room as Sebastian took the wailing babe toward the sofa where a small blanket lay. He took care of the babe, making it presentable, clean, and as comfortable as he could manage. He laid the babe on the cloth and proceeded to wrap it loosely, gently rocking as he picked the babe up, trying to soothe the cries.

"Please," Hawke whispered the word almost helplessly, pushing herself to sit against the headboard of her bed, holding her arms out weakly in a silent plea to hold her child in her arms.

"Of course, Hawke," Sebastian turned and would have moved toward the mage had Fenris not taken it upon himself to put himself in his path. His hands clenched and unclenched, his head cocking to the side as he regarded the prince silently. After a long moment, he slowly – oh so slowly – lifted his arms out in a gesture meant to tell the man he would take the baby to her. "I…I will do it," he said firmly. Sebastian regarded him wearily, but then nodded and slowly passed the baby into Fenris' arms.

"I will leave you for now, Hawke," Sebastian said as he walked around Fenris to approach the bed where she lay. "Don't you hesitate a moment to call me should you have need of me," he smiled and reverently touched his fingers to her hair, stroking comfortingly for a second before he pulled his hand away. "You will be a wonderful mother." Hawke smiled gently in gratitude and nodded, watching for only a moment as Sebastian took his leave before her eyes slid slowly to find themselves on Fenris' back.

"Fenris?"

"It is a girl," he said quietly, almost in wonder; he had no memory of his previous life before he had become Danarius' slave – never before had he held such a small, delicate creature in his arms. It had always been anger, hatred, and violence than he'd known; not this strange sense of belonging, wonderment, and…affection? – Yes, affection.

Hawke, despite the pain she was in and had been in for those very long nine months, managed a small chuckle. Her heart was aching unmercifully at this; Fenris holding their child in his arms and not angry – at least not yet. She knew it was only a matter of time until they clashed about her having run from him and all her responsibilities, and especially about how she had refused coming back to Kirkwall once she had realized she was pregnant with his child. "Fenris…could I see my daughter," her voice soft, almost hesitant in asking anything of him. "Please?"

Fenris turned slowly but found that he was unable to pull his eyes away from the small girl he held within the embrace of his arms. The elf knew little of true and innocent purity, but if there were a single person in existence that embodied that, it was the child he held. She looked like all babes – as they all tended to look the same – but she had a pair of those distinctive, pointed ears, and jade green eyes. There was one trait he could not deny that came from Hawke, and that was the tuft of auburn hair on her head.

Slowly, he raised his eyes to Hawke.

"You deliberately kept this from me," he accused in a hard, but quiet tone.

Hawke lowered her arms and sighed, her eyes sad as she accepted that now was going to be time they would discuss this; not after she was able to hold her child. She couldn't blame him. He was right, she _had _deliberately kept this from him when she _could_ have returned to him and told him.

"Can you blame me?" She asked after a seemingly endless stretch of silence.

"No," he admitted. "I cannot blame you." She would have said something after that but he shook his head to keep her from saying anything. "However, that does not mean I cannot be angry with you, just as you were angry with me."

He saw Hawke shake her own head and his chest tightened as he saw a tear slide down her flushed cheek. "I was never angry, Fenris. I was only hurt. How could I not be?" She set her hands on her robes and readjusted herself, groaning a bit as lingering pains made their presence known. Fenris took a step, almost on instinct, but then stopped, still keeping his distance. "I let myself get caught up in the moment – we both did. We made crazy, passionate love in my bed. I still remember as if it were yesterday." She paused, screwing her eyes shut as more tears made their way free. "Then – after everything, you left. I did not think it would bother me; it was just a physical thing, or so I had thought, but I was wrong, Fenris. " Her eyes opened to find him through their watery layer.

"How were you wrong?" he choked out.

"It did bother me. It bothered me far more than I could have ever thought it could. When you left, I felt a wrenching in my chest and all I wanted to do was run after you but I…I knew you did not wish for that. I did not want to hurt you, or force anything on you, especially my feelings. The last thing I wanted was for you to feel indebted toward me. So instead I cried and thought, for a very long time; I did not sleep at all that night Fenris."

"Neither did I," he interrupted quietly.

"Well, this is something at least," she said with a small chuckle. "I left because I knew I would not be able to keep myself from you and it was the last thing you wanted. I left the note and went to the chantry. I asked Sebastian to help me – and no, before you start jumping to conclusions are you normally do, there is _nothing_ between he and I. He has been a dear friend to me and has simply been there for me. It wasn't until a month after I left that I realized I was pregnant; by this time, Sebastian had come back to Starkhaven as well. We left at separate times to avoid any of you figuring out where I had gone." She paused a moment to give him a hesitant smile. "I should have known you would find me – though I really was surprised when I found out from Aveline's letter – and no, she doesn't where I am either – that you had come after me. " Hawke fell silent, then unable to fully express herself properly, she simply added – "I did not think you cared."

Fenris regarded her in silence, slowly absorbing her every word with a crazy mix of emotions; relief that Sebastian had not touched her, anger at the fact Aveline had managed to get word to her, regret at causing her so much suffering. He lowered his eyes and looked away. "What of the baby? Why did you not return? Why didn't you tell me?" The words sounded strained, pained, and she winced.

"It was never my intention to hurt you, Fenris. We could not even begin to sort out what happened between us that one night – how would we have handled this? I did not think you wanted a child. You are always running from place to place, hunting the slavers hunting you, and on a never ending mission to kill your former master. You could not even admit your feelings to me, how could I expect you to admit to feeling anything about being a father?"

"That was not just for you to decide!" He snapped out a little more harshly than he intended, causing the baby girl in his arms to begin fussing and whimpering. He was suddenly flustered, unsure of what to do with her.

"Here, let me see her," Hawke offered and he was quick to take her up on that, pacing to the bed quickly and leaning over to set the baby in her waiting arms. His heart clenched when Hawke looked down upon the baby's face, love and adoration written clearly on her features. "She is beautiful," Hawke said as she began to softly rock to baby to soothe her; it was amazing how easily the small baby responded to her mother, instantly beginning to fall into a soft slumber. "She looks like her father," she teased.

"Huh. I do believe the hair is yours," he found himself teasing her back as he took a seat on the edge of the bed beside them.

Hawke chuckled softly. "You got me there."

Surprisingly enough they fell into an easy silence with their eyes on the child. It was a long moment before Hawke raised her eyes to find Fenris' face; her own covered in sadness and regret. She reached out her hand and gently laid it on top of his own; he flinched instinctually, but did not pull away. She could be thankful for that, at least.

"I wanted to tell you, Fenris. I've been agonizing over it for a very long time." She whispered.

"I believe you," he said, his eyes searching her face for any indication that she was speaking a falsehood; he was satisfied when he found nothing.

"What shall we call her?"

"You would allow me input after all that I've done?" He asked, surprised.

"I have done as much as you, if not more," Hawke admitted with a weary smile, her thumb brushing gently across the back of his hand, causing jolts of pleasure to shoot up his arm; Maker's breathe, it had been _too _long since he had felt her touch.

"Why do you not name her after your sister? I know she meant the world to you. You could honor her in memory with this," he proposed; this made him recall the death of her mother. He had yet to tell her, but thought it was best for another, more appropriate moment.

Something passed in his eyes, but before she could make anything of it, it was gone.

"How does Cerene Bethany Hawke sound to you, then?"

"It is a very beautiful name. Very appropriate," he said, surprised to find himself giving Hawke a genuine smile that dared to even affect his usually cold eyes.

Hawke smiled and took her hand from him; he instantly missed the warmth of her touch and resisted the urge to pull the woman and their child against him. He could, he knew he could, but at the same time, he _could not_. He watched as she touched the pads of her fingers to the baby's face; only to jerk them away with wide eyes filled with what he assumed was fear; it very much looked like fear as she turned to face him. Something had passed between her and the baby in that moment, he just wasn't sure as to what, until she spoke again and his heart fell.

"Oh Maker, Fenris, I'm sorry…" Hawke whispered the words, afraid. "She is a mage."

* * *

><p>Notes: Well. Yeah. Self explanatory. I very much liked this chapter myself. Please review! =)<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Hmm… I wonder what this could possibly be… could it be? – why yes, it's an update!

Thank-you so much for the kind reviews! They make me smile and give me the motivation I need to write more for you all! =)

* * *

><p>It took a great deal of time, but soon, Hawke realized that Fenris could find no words. Her revelation could very well have been his worst nightmare – a former magister's slave to father a child with a gift that he loathed above all else? Yes – it certainly was not going to make this any easier on the two of them; Fenris had not even accepted Hawke as a mage. He acknowledged it, tolerated it, but never accepted it.<p>

The baby was quietly nestled in Hawke's arms, slumbering sweetly, her face peaceful, lips occasionally working as though she were dreaming of eating; it made her smile.

It was not a horrible thing for Hawke; she had been a mage her entire life. Never once had she been lured into accepting a demon's offer – she could say, with complete conviction, that it was not in the Hawke family to admit defeat, to give in to the demons; her father, her sister, and herself, they had all made it whole lifetimes without demons and blood magic. She was more than aware of what Fenris' thoughts were, that their child would become an abomination. Hawke knew better than that.

"Fenris; are you alright?"

"I find that any words I can say are insufficient." He said after a long moment.

"It isn't a death sentence," she said with a small, tentative smile.

His eyes found hers' from under his silver white hair; his head had been down, hanging almost in shame after finding out what his child was. "A death sentence – no. A curse – yes."

She bristled with anger, but stubbornly bit the inside of her cheek and took a deep breath to keep calm. "It's not a curse, Fenris," she retorted, a little snippier than she had intended.

His brows drew together in confusion, though his lips twitched with frustration. "You would not say that if you knew what I knew," he said quietly, "A lot has happened since you disappeared from Kirkwall."

Hawke rolled her eyes. "I can only imagine; Anders getting a little too pushy in getting the populace to read his manifesto?" She joked with a small laugh.

"Ugh. Do not even mention that abomination's name to me," he growled and turned his face from her. There was a long, long moment between them that neither said a word; when the silence was broken, it was Fenris who chose to do so. "Perhaps Sebastian should come take the child for now."

"What? Why?" Hawke's brows pulled in tight over her eyes, her voice taught with restrained anger.

Fenris stood slowly from the bed and peered down at her. "There are… things we need to discuss, Hawke. It is better if we do so alone." He held out his arms for the child and reluctantly, Hawke slowly moved the sleeping baby from her arms to his. "I shall return in a moment. Do not dare getting up from this bed, Hawke. I will be most displeased if you do."

He didn't wait for her to answer, bringing the baby against his chest as he turned and made him way from the room. When he stood in the hall, he found he had to take a moment to take in all that had occurred; in mere hours, his life had been altered rather drastically, and all because he could not keep his hands and thoughts off of the mage who'd just birthed him a child. He had wanted to escape magic and its twisted users; it seemed the Maker had other plans for him – he was now part of a family of mages. How could he escape from that? He saw Hawke in his mind, her eyes and smile for no one other than the child; it had been one of the most beautiful sights he had the honor to look upon. The real question was – did he _want_ to escape?

"I take it you are not as angry as you were before?" came a voice.

Fenris turned and found that Sebastian had taken residence in the door to what he could only assume was the prince's office, given the large desk that he saw in the room behind him. His lips twitched slightly – whether in anger or sarcastic amusement, he didn't know.

"If she did not have the ears…I would not believe that she is mine." He said quietly. "She was gone so quickly – who would know if you had lain with her? It is the talk of Starkhaven that you and she are lovers."

"Come Fenris, after all those years in Kirkwall, did you learn nothing of the way people spin their own stories with rumors?" Sebastian chuckled. "You would think after years around Varric would have cautious of believing everything you are told."

Fenris growled softly. "Can you blame me? It is not like you are horrible disfigured, or even unattractive. And Hawke…" he glanced away with a frown. "She is a beautiful woman. It would not surprise me if she had your attention."

Sebastian leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms across his broad chest. "I can admit that to you; Hawke is indeed a beautiful woman." He didn't elaborate further, and really, he didn't have to. Fenris knew what the Starkhaven ruler was _really _admitti_ng_ to him.

Fenris' brands burned, ever so briefly before he managed to calm himself down. After a moment of staring the man down, he asked what he really wanted the answer to – "Have you lain with Hawke?"

"You were always known to get straight to the point," the prince said with a slight upturn of his lips. "To answer your question – no; Hawke and I have never lain together as men and women do." He could see the relief in Fenris' face before the elf quickly replaced his stoic mask. "I find I cannot lie to you, Fenris. I once offered to let you return to Starkhaven with me – that hasn't changed. You are most welcome here given the circumstances. I do have to let you know; your suspicions were not unwarranted. In the time that I have spent with Hawke, I have offered to step in to take care of her and the child. I do have tender feelings for her but I would never step in between you and your own."

"I…cannot blame you," Fenris finally said after a long and tense moment. "I have things I must discuss with Hawke. Would you watch Cerene while I do this?"

"Cerene?" Sebastian tested the name on his tongue and then smiled, walking toward the elf and holding his arms out for the baby. Fenris hesitated a moment, an instinct he was unfamiliar with causing him to think pause, before he managed to curb it and place the sleeping baby in the prince's arms. "It is a beautiful name, Fenris. Quite fitting, indeed."

"I know," Fenris said, finding that a smile had snuck its way across his lips.

"Well then, off with you. Go to her and Fenris," The prince raised his eyes to Fenris' and the elf found a stern, almost deliberate anger there, "you had better not hurt her again." He didn't say another word, but instead turn on his heel and walked back down the hall to his office. He shut the door gently behind him with his foot to avoid waking Cerene, leaving Fenris to stand in the hall, at a loss for words.

Fenris cocked his head thoughtfully and then chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief to himself; why did it not surprise him? Everyone had always seemed to be in love with Hawke; it should not have been a shock to find that Sebastian was part of that mass.

He sighed.

"Best get this over with," he said quietly to himself. He knew she would not be happy when they were done, but there were things that had to be said whether or not they liked it.

* * *

><p>I apologize that it is short, but I have an appointment in the morning, so I must go to sleep!<p>

Reviews and feedback are always appreciated! =)


	6. Chapter 6

Alright, so my internet connection has been severed due to my sudden change in living situation; my updates are going to be sporadic at best. However! I will be trying to post a chapter each night for the next 4 days as I will have net during these next few days. So please enjoy! I am sorry it is short! I am at an anime convention and am typing these in my spare time! =D

* * *

><p>When Fenris came back into the room, Hawke was sitting up in the bed still, looking at him expectadely with those wide and innocent eyes that too often reminded him of cornered prey. At least she had listened to him, he thought wryly. He headed back toward her, purpose in his every step; he had no idea what was going to happen but things finally needed to be settled between them. There was no option to run anymore; for either of them.<p>

"Fenris - what do you want from me?" Hawke asked as he again took the seated perch on the edge of the bed beside her. "I thought I was doing what was best for you; you didn't seem too happy with what happened between us."

"You're wrong," Fenris whispered, his voice suddenly filled with a heat he had not felt since that night. Before he could think to stop himself, he had her face in his hands and was consuming her with his lips; at first it was desperate, their pulses melding together as their lips and tongue fought for a hold to connect themselves as a single being.

After a long minute he pulled himself away from her, reluctantly so, but did not release her face from his hands.

"You do not know how wrong you are, Hawke." He said hoarsely, his eyes moving over her face desperately, almost achingly, a sadness etched into his features. "For all these months, i thought I would forget your touch; I have tried to keep myself from you, but it has not helped. I remember your touch as if it were yesterday."

"Fenris..." Hawke let out a long breathe. "I haven't forgotten either; not for a moment."

He could not find a word to respond to her with, his green eyes dancing across her face almost frantically, searching for something, anything, to show him she was as tormented as he. He decided to forgo the words and dropped his head again, nipping at her lower lip sensually with a growl. She shuddered and nipped him back, her hands grasping at his silver strands, hard. It only spurred him on and then, once again, they were drowning in each other's kisses as if it were the only course of action left to save them.

He moved his lips from hers' and moved them to her jaw, nipping and kissing, before moving down to her neck. She was more than happy to let him explore, her body starved of his touch. A soft sound fell from her and she pulled him closer as he began to suck gently at the exposed skin of her neck; first gently, then harder, biting, nipping, before pulling back to gently lap at the now marked skin with his tongue. "Mine - you are mine, Hawke," he muttered against her skin possessively.

He lifted his head and found her eyes again, grasping her face in his hands. "Mine. You are mine; I can't live without you any longer," he growled gently. "I know we have our differences; you favor mages, where as I do not. We do not agree on most everything. At times I swore I have wanted to kill you." He shook his head with a frown. "More often than not, I could decide between kissing or killing you; every time, I found I wanted to push you against the wall and shut you up with my kiss."

Hawke shivered deliciously. "I understand the compulsion," she teased, grinning at him.

"Don't tease a starving wolf," he growled and crushed his lips on hers', this time making the kiss hard and consuming, tasting the faint echo of a copper as they crashed together, teeth clicking.

Fenris gasped and pulled away from her, suddenly jumping from the bed to distance himself. "I apologize; you are in no...condition," he muttered as he began to pace about the confines of the room to calm his now surging blood. Hawke just smiled and nodded; she felt a rant coming on and said nothing, licking her lips as she watched his agile, almost wolf-like form meander around her room.

"You are infuriating, woman! You make me so angry sometimes, all I do is see red; I destroyed the objects in my house when I pictured your face but then I could think of nothing other than just pushing you down and having my way with you. I don't understand you; I don't understand this, but I know - I know - I cannot live without this, without you. I have to have you; it is not a want anymore, it is a need." He turned quickly to face her, pacing quickly back to her side and took her hand, slowly beginning to kiss every inch passionately, but gently; he kissed each fingertip, each knuckle, her palm, the back of her hand, and the inside of her wrist. "I would choose to be with you, if you would have me; we have our differences, but I cannot be apart from you any longer."

Hawke shivered deliciously and smiled, drawing him to her again to place a kiss to his lips. "I would have nothing else, Fenris - my wolf. Now... I do believe we have a daughter who is more than anxious to get to know her parents." Fenris gave her a genuine smile and nodded. He gave her a long, consuming kiss that made her weak in her already weak knees, and made her a puddle within the arms of the mattress beneath her.

"You keep doing that...you won't get far," Hawke murmured into his lips.

"Don't tempt me, you devil woman," he growled against her lips in response. "I may be tempted to take you right here, with the chaste prince on the other side of the wall to hear every delicious noise I incite from you."

With that, he grinned at her and nipped her fingertip, before turning and making his way from the room to go fetch the single most wonderful thing that could have happened to them; that little elf child, born from a passionate, out of control night, had changed them forever. Here was where their journey really started; he was more than willing to give it his all.

* * *

><p>This is essentially the mid-point; the next chapter is going to be doing a bit of a time jump. I want to do an over-protective father Fenris! =D<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Yay! Update time – as I mentioned in my other story, I don't have a permanent internet connection. I just replaced my laptop, so when I got to Starbucks to get my coffee, I will be posting my updates. Going to try for once a week. Hope the updates will be worth the wait! So sorry it's been so long!

* * *

><p>It had been ten years since the day Necroditei Hawke had given birth to Fenris' only child – a female, elf, and a mage at that. The two had reconciled and they'd done their damndest to be a family, but as Hawke had learned in her childhood years, being a mage family was not exactly an easy thing. Having a mage for a child, was not easy – though they had managed to keep Cerene hidden away from the somewhat crumbled Templar order, the danger was ever present. Sebastian had done his part, always vouching for the family living within his kingdom as if they were family of his own – and they were, in a sense. Cerene had come to call Sebastian her godfather and Fenris didn't put up a single protest.<p>

Cerene was a tall, lanky, 10-year old elf with those same long ears her father had. Stunningly green eyes, long, red ringlets spilling to her collarbone. Delicate features, small, button like nose, her mother's lips, and that elf narrow like face shape with rose cheeks. Nobody would believe such a beautiful child was only 10 – most of the villagers always thought she was a teen by now. Last year…last year, Cerene had first experienced her magic.

The little girl had been playing in the barns of the Starkhaven estate, under the careful watch of her father who lounged on the hay loft, arms propped behind his head, eyes closed, and legs crossed. He wore the same armor as always, though his face showed the years and his hair had grown much longer, tied now in a braid that fell to his mid back. Cerene was playing with the Mabari hound that had belonged to her mother – Aveline had escorted the hound herself years ago, after receiving the news.

Zues was the hound's name and he had been chasing the young elf through the barns as she squealed with laughter. Fenris listened with a small smile across his lips. What had been a happy atmosphere changed desperately quick, into a nightmare. When Zues had tackled Cerene to the floor with a playful growl, Cerene had screamed and in an instant, the barn exploded into flames.

Fenris leapt from his perch as fire roared through the hay like it was nothing, the red, orange, and yellow flames seemingly everywhere. "Cerene!" Fenris screamed her name as he landed, arm over his eyes as he coughed, trying desperately to see through the smoke. Zues had fled the barn and it was then that the elf saw his daughter – standing dead center, she stood like a flame herself, eyes blank, the fire not even touching her but instead roaring from inside of her.

Just as Fenris had dove for her, there was a loud scream and then suddenly the barn was froze over with snow, the fire suddenly dowsed. And then, just as suddenly, Cerene's eyes rolled back into her head and she fell, but Fenris was there in an instant, still coughing as he caught her in his arms, standing upright. He turned to see Hawke standing in the barn's door, panting, eyes wide.

"Is…is she okay?" Fenris asked his wife(they'd been married shortly after they'd settled).

"Fine…" she mumbled, walking towards them to lay a hand on her daughter's forehead. "Just cast a sleep spell over her…never…never…" she trailed off, shaking her head almost desperately.

"Never what?" he prodded gently, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Such magic…so powerful…I'm in shock." She said after a long moment.

They'd trailed off, taken their daughter into the house and had not spoken of it since, keeping a _very_ close on her. Hawke had been researching almost day and night, even traveling to secret mage societies to get whatever information she could. When she had run out of informational sources, she had turned to Sebastian, told him the details of the incident, and asked of him whatever she could.

A full year had passed. Cerene had not remembered the incident and had not had one since.

Hawke was in Sebastian's study, pouring over the same books she had read a thousand times over. She sighed and placed the current book in the folds of her robes on her lap, pinching her nose between her index finger and her thumb.

"Nothing yet?" Sebastian asked from the doorway, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Nothing," Hawke said with a sigh as she raised her head and dropped her hand, turning her eyes to look at her long time friend. "I can't find anything. I have never seen anything like it and neither has anyone else."

"Have you considered…you know…?" Sebastian cocked his head.

"I…I don't think my husband would like that option very much."

"'I am sure Fenris would care more for the safety of his child than his own hatred. I have seen him these many years, constantly watching over her, vigil as every good father should be," Sebastian reassured her. "If there was _any_ chance to figure out what was happening with his child, Fenris would take it. I have no doubt of that."

"You shouldn't," a voice said from behind the prince. Hawke stood and Sebastian turned, both facing the elf who now stood just behind them. He edged past Sebastian and waved the prince in. Fenris sat in the chair that Hawke had been in, pulling the mage back into his lap as Sebastian moved to sit across from them on the couch near the lit fireplace.

Hawke sighed and laid her head on Fenris' shoulder, his hand on her hip, the other laced with her own in her lap. Their fingers locked tightly together, almost desperate to enjoy this moment. Fenris pressed his lips to his wife's forehead and then looked over to his friend. "What is the last resort?" he asked.

Sebastian regarded him for a long moment, looked for a moment at Hawke's resigned expression, then nodded. "Anders and Justice."

Fenris' brows rose considerably. "The man who single handedly destroyed the chantry and who has been on the run for the last 7 years?"

"Yes, Fenris," Hawke said as she lifted her head to look him in the eyes. "Only Anders has been invovled with the unknown, astounding parts of the Fade. I never saw such magic come from a child, and such strong magic that didn't even harm her. I love our daughter, Fenris, I love you – I would do anything for you both."

He squeezed her hand. "I know, I would as well." He turned his eyes to Sebastian. They shared a very long look and both nodded. "Find him."

* * *

><p>Anders was worse for wear – the years hadn't been good to him. He was sitting in his temporary encampment, not terribly far from Starkhaven, deep with the woods. He knew he was close to Hawke, he was desperately seeking her out. She was the only one who could help him – he knew that. So did Justice and that was why he was so tortured. Justice wanted nothing to do with her, the spirit full of nothing now but vengeance, revenge, and anger. Anders didn't even recognize his companion anymore and it was getting harder and harder to keep him at bay.<p>

The mage huffed quietly, holding his head. His blonde hair was turning prematurely grey, but was the same length and cut, his face scruffy and dirty from the travels, the constant running since they had blown up the chantry. His old, tired, but beautiful eyes were scrunched shut in agony as he fought to keep the spirit at bay.

"Stop. Just stop. I'm not letting you harm anyone anymore!" the mage anguished.

Vengeance had harmed so many over the last 7 years and had pushed Anders into a state of anguished helplessness. The mage was powerful, but he was no match for a spirit of the Fade.

He had to find Hawke. She was his last hope.

* * *

><p>I apologize that this is short, but more soon. :)<p>

Review please! Please please! It motivates me! :D


	8. Chapter 8

Smut in this chapter :)

* * *

><p>"Be careful," Sebastian was saying as he, Fenris, and Hawke descended the grand staircase of his home towards the rear exit through the servants kitchen. Once they all were standing just outside the doors, he stopped. Fenris and Hawke took a few steps before stopping themselves, to turn and look back at their friend. "Please, just be careful." He added again.<p>

"Don't worry so much, Sebastian. Anders wouldn't hurt us," Hawke reassured him as she stepped forward to give him a slightly prolonged hug; Fenris stood quietly not nearly as bothered at their physical contact as he used to be.

"Not you," Fenris corrected as Hawke stepped back, "Me, on the other hand…"

"It's not as if we have much of a choice," Sebastian said with a sigh. "Trust me, Anders isn't exactly the person I want either of you seeking out. After news of what he did…well, safe to say, if you two didn't think he could help you, I would be taking care of him myself."

"Sebastian…" There was a slight edge to Hawke's voice as she stiffened.

"Don't, Hawke." Fenris grabbed her hand as she unconsciously took a step forward. She blinked once and turned her head to look at her elven husband, as if she had no idea what she had been about to do.

"I know he's your friend, Hawke." Sebastian took her other hand to placate her. "Or was; either way, it's what is stopping me from taking any action. You both have worked so hard – you three are my family now – I am not about to ruin that."

Hawke smiled just slightly and again stepped into a half hug, while still holding Fenris' hand. Once they parted again, Sebastian turned a stern look to Fenris. The elf bristled and straightened, brows drawn down tight as he frowned. "What?" Hawke looked between the two as if she had no idea what was passing between the men.

"I promise to look after Cerene – so long as you promise to bring Hawke home safely."

Fenris nodded, then turned and began walking, tugging his wife along with him by his hold on her hand. Hawke half waved to the prince as they departed. The two continued to hold hands in the moonlit night as they made their way towards the forest just outside of the boundry lines of the estate in which they lived. Sebastian had spent the majority of the last few days gathering whatever information he could get his hands on about Anders and his whereabouts. Turned out, he hadn't needed to look far. The villagers of Starkhaven had been whispering rumors of a rogue mage in Starkhaven forest, whom was whispered to kill anyone who was stupid enough to step foot into the shrouded darkness after the sun had set. Hawke had denied that this could be a possible thing – the Anders she had known would never hurt anyone other than those would harm innocent mages; he was a good man. She hadn't thought he'd blow up the chantry either, Sebastian and Fenris had reminded her.

Hawke was lost in thought when she ran into Fenris' back. She stumbled back and fell onto her rear, staring up at his still form with a curiously cocked head; it was hard to see in the darkness bu t at least they weren't in the thick of the trees yet. Fenris half chuckled and turned, offering her his hand to bring her to her feet.

"Lost in thought again?" he teased.

"Well, I wasn't exactly expecting you to stop unexpectedly." She snapped back with a slight attitude; he was always making these clumsy accidents out to her fault when he wasn't exactly blameless.

"Admit it, you like running into me." He said the words in a whisper as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her roughly up against him. Her palms found his chest and she tilted her head up to look at him from under auburn bangs, a matching brow raising slightly.

"I'm sure I don't have to admit it," she said breathlessly. Even after ten years together, her heart never failed to kick into overdrive when she was so closely pressed up against her elf.

Fenris smirked slightly, his green eyes flashing dangerously in the dark, his lyrium brands beginning to glow a tad, as he lowered his head and caught Hawke's lips under his own. He groaned at the contact, and she moaned, her arms going around his neck as what had meant to be a gentle, loving kiss, quickly turned into a deep and passionate one. Panting, they broke apart for a breath before coming back together again to mesh tongues and lips and teeth. He stumbled backward with her and found hold against a nearby tree; once he hit it, he quickly turned them around and pressed his mage back against it, still consuming her with his kisses.

"Fenris," Hawke broke the kiss and held his face in her now trembling hands. "Perhaps this isn't the best place for this."

Fenris growled and nipped her lower lip, causing her to moan and drop her head back. He quickly and expertly attacked her neck with his lips and teeth, Hawke trembling against his body which responded as it always did, flaring up with undeniable desire for her. "We rarely have the chance for privacy," he murmured against her neck. "You really want me to stop?" And then he did, for a moment, simply holding her, lips resting against the curve of her neck and shoulder.

"No," Hawke admitted with a soft laugh.

Fenris laughed softly with her and slipped his hands down her body to slide inside her robes. His gauntlet clad hands slid across her bare skin and she shuddered with a moan; he couldn't help the smirk that touched his lips before he bit down on her shoulder possessively. She cried out with a moan and he knew that she was biting her lip as her hands clutched tightly at his silver hair. He ripped away her underclothes and released her shoulder, kissing back to her lips where he proceeded to kiss her senseless. He retreated his hands and cupped her breasts, kneading them gently through her robes before pinching at her stiffened nipples. Hawke's breathing turned harsh as she moaned into his mouth, where he eagerly consumed each and every one of them.

"Fenris," she moaned his name, pressing her hips forward against his own, trembling at the feel of his rigid erection pressing at her through his own breeches.

"You drive me insane with desire," Fenris whispered into her lips as he moved his hands away. He freed himself from his breeches and pulled Hawke's robes apart enough to allow him to hook her legs around his waist with her hands on her thighs. He held her there as they kissed again and again for a long moment. Then he slowly rubbed himself against her core and smiled when she bit at his ear, making _him_ shudder with pleasure.

"No, you're driving me insane," Hawke breathed as she clutched at his shoulders, pressing her hips closer to him desperately and using her legs to hook his hips, pulling him as close as she could. The head of him pressed against her and they kissed again, before he slid his hands under her robes to grip her shapely rear and pull her to him, sliding into her in a quick thrust. She cried out and dropped her head back against the tree, her womanly center trembling around him. He groaned and dropped his head against her shoulder. They stayed like that for a long moment, enjoying the feeling of being one completely. Then, he slowly pulled out of her only to thrust back into her hard.

What had started out as a stolen moment quickly turned into a passion driven desperate need to become one; he brought her down on him hard, fast, again and again, drawing out every moan that he could, offering up his own at the intense pleasure they were sharing. He brought her to orgasm twice, gritting his teeth as he held back his own to give her as much as could, before he finally cried out and shuddered with her, spilling himself inside of her, his own head thrown back in a mirror to her own. They shivered and came down together, Fenris letting her down to stand on trembling legs as he went about straightening her robes before fixing himself up.

Still panting, they kissed again, softly, gently – lovingly.

"I don't think I tell you this enough, Hawke – " Fenris took her into his arms and hugged her tightly. "I love you. "

Hawke smiled and touched her lips to his ear, whispering, "I love you, too."

Before anything else could be said, the two of them found themselves dangerously drowsy, light-headed, and off balance. Hawke stepped back and grabbed her forehead with her palm, looking around them as Fenris took the offensive, sluggishly pulling his blade off of his back and taking a protective stance in front of her to face the denser part of the woods.

"Magic," Hawke managed to whisper the word before she lost consciousness. Before she hit the ground, Fenris dropped his blade and caught her, gently laying her on the ground; the action made it almost impossible for him not to follow suit. As he moved to stand up, the edges of his vision starting turning black. He desperately tried to push it away, on one knee, as he held his head and looked around just as Hawke had done; she hadn't seen anything but had warned him it was magic – a mage could always sense when magic was being used on themselves.

"Anders!" Fenris snapped out the name on a growl. "Stop! Stop it!" He tried to convince the wanted mage he was sure was casting this, though he saw no one. He panted heavily and looked desperately around. "I won't let you hurt her!" He managed the last bit of words before he, too, fell to the ground.

"Not Anders…Vengeance." – was the last thing he heard before darkness overtook him and dragged him deep into the embrace of unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>Sorry, wanted an excuse to write some smut. ^_^ Please review!<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Next chapter! This one is kind of dark, hence why I added in the lovey dovey smut chapter before-hand. I want to start out by saying that even though in the game Anders said Justice wasn't exactly a split personality, and that they didn't talk to each other, but rather they were one – I am going for the split personality route. He and Justice talk, Justice can and does take over his body, etc. Just wanted to say that in case someone tried to quote the game to me or something. Lol. XD

Thank-you for your reviews! I adore every one of them! Please review!

* * *

><p><em><strong>You hear that don't you, mage?<strong>_

"Shut up," Anders spat out. He sucked in a deep breath and tried his best to ignore the excruciatingly painful pounding in his temples by focusing his eyes on the dying fire at his feet.

_**Mortals rutting like beasts.**_

"Shut up!"

Justice – no not Justice, Vengeance – quieted then. He didn't hear anything. No doubt his companion sought to distract him enough to where he would let his guard down and the spirit could take control of his body. Anders was determined not to let that happen again; he had managed to keep him at bay the last couple of days but Vengeance was growing impatient and bored. Anders sighed – what had he done to his friend? Outside of his body, the spirit had been strong, caring, and stood for justice for any innocent – even the mages – but when he and Anders had merged, something had gone terribly wrong. Justice changed into a hateful spirit and that fateful day, when he'd killed that mage in one of his justice-controlled rages, it had all gone downhill from there. Justice had him destroy the chantry in some twisted sense of 'changing' the world. It had all gone so wrong, so very very wrong.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Never more than now was that the truth.

There was a snap of branches and Anders raised his eyes from the fire.

_**Hear it now, don't you?**_

"I hear _something_, but it could just be an animal." Anders muttered the words and kicked up the dirt. Gripping the last staff Hawke had used before fleeing from Kirkwall – the one she'd left at his clinic's doorstep – Anders peered cautiously around. Cocking his head in the direction of the sound, he listened and slowly began moving toward it. After a few minutes of walking, he very faintly heard someone trip and then a male voice laughing softly. Then a female voice came next. He frowned and crept closer, carefully and silently, on almost feather light feet.

Anders came to stand with his back against a tree, straining to hear the words of the man and woman who'd entered _his_ forest – not his, Justice's. He worried for their safety; they wouldn't be the first villagers to wander in and become victims of the warped being inside of him.

_**There are no victims. This world is unclean. It must be cleansed – they all must be cleansed. Cleansed in fire**_. Justice laughed inside of his head and Anders had to screw his eyes shut in the effort block out the all too familiar sound.

He heard a groan and then a moan, and he rolled his eyes. So Justice _had_ been right; a young couple had snuck from the village to steal a private, excitement filled moment of passion. He sighed ever so softly and frowned, but took a step to move away when something stopped him.

"_Fenris."_

He just barely caught the name sighed on a moan, but catch it he did and he froze solid. After a long moment, he stepped back against the tree and then slowly and quietly turned enough to peak around the trunk of the tree. His eyes widened when he saw Hawke being ravaged and very throughally loved by that magic hating elf who had always been more trouble than he was worth. He heard Justice laughing in his head again as Anders' heart clenched painfully in his chest each time the pair's bodies came together and their lips met.

_**What a lovely turn of events. If it isn't Hawke, being screwed by that damned elf. **_Anders' head began to throb unmercifully. _No, no, no, no! You won't hurt her!_ He turned back to press against the tree, gripping his head as the spirit tried to force his way out of the mage. _**Hurt her? I will decimate her – look at how she's betrayed you. At how she's turned her back on all those innocent mages by siding with a magic hating elf who wants nothing more than to rid the world of mages like you and she. **_He desperately shook his head as the moans again reached his ears. _No, no. He must be different now. There is no way Hawke would turn her back on her own._

_**You love her – your love blinds you, as love has blinded true justice before.**_ _**Listen.**_ Justice made Anders still, hold his breath, and turned his head to strain to listen as he'd commanded.

"_I don't think I tell you this enough, Hawke – I love you."_

And had to _really _strain to hear the _"I love you, too"_ whispered in return.

There was no denying it now. Why would Hawke risk everything they had worked so hard for, for this elf? No, wait. These weren't his thoughts, were they? They sounded like the things Justice would say but he couldn't distinguish who exactly the thoughts belonged to.

_**Fool.**_ Anders' eyes widened and then he realized his mistake. His confusion and anguish had caused a slip in his concentrated guard, allowing Justice the split second he needed to shove Anders back and take control of his body. He mentally screamed a howl of denial as Justice smiled evilly. He took the staff and lifed it toward his chest, muttering _**sleep**_ and blowing the whisp of smoke away from him, using his hand to wave it in Hawke and Fenris' direction. He chuckled to himself when he heard Hawke's warning; if only she knew.

"Anders!" Fenris snapped out the name on a growl. "Stop! Stop it! I won't let you hurt her!" Justice then heard him fall to the ground and stepped out from behind the tree, walking ever so silently towards the elf who tried desperately to fight his sleep magic.

"Not Anders…Vengeance." Justice said down at Fenris as he finally fell into the dark hold of his spell. He could feel Anders beating at him, but only smiled and moved to Hawke. She hadn't changed, the spirit noticed. She looked as youthful and beautiful as she had 10 years ago, with just a very subtle touch of silver in the strands of her firey red hair. He scowled; this woman had been the one to halt his plans for so long. Lucky for him, she had fled, and in the end he still got what he'd wanted out of Kirkwall. He beant and hefted her up, tossing her uncessarily hard over his shoulder. Keeping one hand over the back of her thighs, he turned and grabbed Fenris by his wrist and dragged him as the spirit made his way back to Anders' little campsite a few minutes away. Once he saw the fire, he dropped the elf's wrist and moved with Hawke to the tent where Anders had meant to sleep but never could for fear of exactly this happening – sleeping was the easiest way to let Justice find his way out.

He bent and grabbed their pack, rifling around for the long rope he had stashed within Anders' effects the last time he'd been out; taking the rope, he stood and moved toward the nearest tree where he proceeded to dump Hawke onto the ground. He took the dagger from Anders' boot and cut off lengths of the rope. Setting the dagger down, he then tied her feet together, before moving to kick her over to her front and tying her hands behind her back. Then kicked her over to lay on her back again. Glaring down at her, Justice tried to curb the rush of violence brewing; he wanted to play with her after all she had messed up. He wasn't about to let her get the quick way out. Fenris however was another story all together. Justice never liked him, he was annoying, always in the way, and just did nothing more than to be a pest. He bent down and retrieved the dagger, before turning and walking over to Fenris with the last of the rope. He bound Fenris much in the same way and then cast a paralyze glypgh over him, so that if Justice's fun woke him, he still wouldn't be able to escape or retaliate.

Grinning, Justice rolled Fenris onto his back and watched as he began to stir. Taking the dagger, he drew it over the elf's cheek, drawing blood and watching it roll over the now pained expression. Fenris slowly opened his eyes and found himself looking up into a 'cracked', glowing 'blue' version of Anders he had seen a few times before.

"_Mage_," Fenris spit out the word on a growl and tried to sit up before he realized he was bound in rope. And currently wrapped up in a paralyzing glyph. "Let me go! Now! What have you done with Hawke?"

"Hawke, is fine, she is right over there." Justice pointed to Hawke with the blood-tipped dagger, then looked back at Fenris. "I'm saving her for when I am finished with you. There is much that I…owe her, for supressing my plans for so long."

"Wait. You're not Anders. You're the…other thing, the thing that was in the Fade with us," Fenris' eyes widened slightly and then narrowed dangerously as he growled. "Where is the mage?"

"Oh, he's here," Justice said with a small laugh, tapping the dagger against his own temple. "He let his guard slip when we caught you two fornicating in the woods. Poor Anders. Such a shock – to see his endearing Hawke wrapped in the arms with a mage hater. Just enough of a slip for me to seal him in his mind as I often am. Thanks to you, it's my turn to play now."

"What happened to you? You used to be…" Fenris trailed off with a tight frown. Even if Anders' sanity had been slipping because of this thing, he had never been a senseless murderer, and he never played with his _prey_ – hell, he never even had prey! Had the last 7 years proved to have made this spirit into a killer?

"Oh, nothing happened to me." Justice assured. He stood and then swiftly kicked his booted foot into Fenris' gut, causing him to grit his teeth and grunt in pain. "This is all Anders – his hate, his anger, his desire for revenge – it's all him." He kicked him a couple of more times until he saw, with satisfaction, blood come up with a cough of pain. "I've had enough of you, I think. Time to put you out of this miserable thing you call living." He bent to grab Fenris by his hair, bringing the dagger to his neck. A cruel smile. "Don't worry, when I'm finished, I'll release her…to the maker."

Before he could draw the blade across the lanky neck of his victim, a blast of fire hit him in the back and he went stumbling over Fenris' paralyzed body, hastily casting a blizzard cone of cold over himself to dowse the flames on his back. In this scrambling, he'd lost concentration and the paralyze glyph beneath Fenris faded into nothing. Fenris took the oppurtunity to bring his legs up and slide his bound hands under them to bring them to his front where he hastily used his teeth to untie the knot. By the time he was unbound completely, both hands and feet, Justice was facing him again, anger making the blue flare around him even greater.

He found that Justice was not staring at him, but over him. He turned to find out why – Hawke was standing, panting with exertion, hands lit with fire as she stared Justice down.

"You," the spirit hissed.

When Fenris went to move toward Hawke, she sharply shook her head and mottioned for him to stay exactly where he was – out of the way. Justice took a step toward her, bringing them to stand about ten feet apart.

"Justice. Stop this, this isn't you," Hawke pleaded softly.

"Who are you to assume you know who I am." The spirit frowned tightly and then shot a bolt out of his hand, but at Fenris not Hawke. Caught off guard, the bolt hit Fenris square in the chest, sending him flying back into a nearby tree with a loud cry; he was sure he heard a rib snap as he hit the ground, his teeth clenched together.

Hawke growled and threw a fireball at the spirit, who dove quickly to the side to avoid it, the ball of fire hitting the tree, lighting it on fire. She cursed and hastily cast a cone of cold over the tree, crying out a moment later when Justice tackled her. She grunted and held her ground, shoving with all her might to push him off of her. He stumbled and that was enough for her to dip out from under him, and drive her knee into his gut. Justice double and hit the ground with a palm and a knee, lifting his cracked, glowing face and eyes to stare at her.

Hawke took a step back and stood strong. She stood utterly still, tense, waiting. "Anders. I know you're in there. Please hear me," she said after a long moment of staring into Justice's flaring eyes.

_Let me out! Give me back to her!_

_**Never. I won't let her get away this time. She will pay! Vengeance will be mine!**_

_No! You won't hurt her!_

Hawke must have seen the struggle on Justice's face because her please intensified, as if she knew she were rallying Anders to take back his body, to come back and subdue Justice. "You can do this, Anders! You're strong, I know you are! Please! I need your help! Come back!"

Justice reared up with a howl, grabbing his head and shaking it desperately as he used all of his energy to keep Anders from taking back control. Hawke took the oppurtunity and darted forward, shoving her hand hard onto his chest and blasting his with a power slam. He flew back off of her palm and hit a tree, just as Fenris had moments before, then hit the ground unconscious.

Hawke let out a sigh of relief. Then made her way over to Fenris and, very gently, helped him to sit back against the tree. "Are you alright?" She asked, kneeling beside him with worry in her eyes.

"A rib is broken, possibly two," he said with a frown, his hand still holding his side.

"Hold still." Hawke laid her hand over his and closed her eyes. Warmth flowed from her palm into his hand, then into his body where the magic began to mend his broken ribs; he'd been right to assume two. There were three broken ribs on the right side of his rib cage. She concentrated and knit the bones back together before working on the surrounding tissue, muscle, blood; whatever it took to make him perfectly well again. After a moment, she jolted back to her body and opened her eyes. "Better?"

"Much," Fenris said with a grateful smile, always in awe of what a wonderful healer his wife had always been. He slid his hand up and gently took hold of the back of her neck, pulling her down to press their lips together gently. "Thank-you." He pulled away for a moment then and looked over to Anders' prone form. "What about him?" He asked, cocking his head in the mage's direction.

"He probably has a couple broken ribs as well. Force pushes normally do that." Hawke sighed and sat back on her heels. Then she noticed the cut on his cheek and frowned. She laid her hand on top of it and gently went about healing that as well. She dropped her hand and took his in her own. "Anders used to tell me that he always feared sleeping. That the spirit inside of him would try to break through when he was unconscious." She glanced over at Anders again. "So it is safe to assume that Anders could break through as well. When he wakes, we should have Anders."

"Better be that annoying mage,"Fenris grumbled as he climbed to his feet, helping her up as well. "Is he going to be of any help to us like this?"

"Anders has any knowledge Justice does – if that has somehow changed, I am not sure." She frowned and sighed, walking over to Anders and kneeling beside him. Laying her hand on his unconscious form, she concentrated and went about fixing up his broken ribs, four of them, and his sprained wrist. Just in case, she used the very last of her magical energy to cast a sleeping spell over him so that he didn't wake before they were at least back at the house. "Grab him, Fenris. We need to get him back to the house. There is a lot to discuss."

Fenris nodded and walked over to lean down, scooping the mage up and tossing him over his shoulder; gently though so as not to upset his wife. Getting to her feet, Hawke gathered up Anders' supplies, folded down his tent, put it away in his pack, before putting out the fire in the middle of the temporary campsite. "Don't want anyone else looking for him to know he's been here," she said as she turned back to him.

Fenris frowned tightly, not approving; whatever caught up with Anders, he believed the mage had brought it on himself. Hawke was right though, they needed Anders, for the sake of their daughter. Together they made their way back through the woods towards Sebastian's estate, a very dangerous fugitive, and former friend, hanging over Fenris' shoulder.

* * *

><p>My action scenes are really rusty, but I hope you like the update. :)<p>

Please review! 3


	10. Chapter 10

Thank-you TamaraAnn1978 and Hatsepsut; your reviews helped keep me motivated!

Time for a little fluff/smut! Fenris and Hawke deserve some!

Disclaimer: Don't own DA! D:

* * *

><p>Hawke sighed softly from her perch just beside the bed where Fenris had laid Anders. He had not relented in his demand for Anders to be bound, despite Hawke's protests, so the mage was now bound by his wrists to the bed posts with rope. After that was done, Sebastian – after being told what had transpired – had also demanded further precautions; so very reluctantly, Hawke had been asked to place magic restraints. Sadly, she had done so for fear of Justice hurting not her, but Fenris, Cerene, and Sebastian. They were her family and she'd do anything to make sure they were safe. It had been nearly a week now. Hawke remained ever vigilent in her watch over Anders. Cerene walked into the room on feet as stealthy as her father's, Hawke nearly jumping from her skin when her sing song, innocent voice came from just beside her.<p>

"Mommy, who's that?"

Hawke smiled as she turned to look at her daughter, again marveling at how much of Fenris she saw in her. She easily picked the young girl up and cuddled her into her lap, her chest against her daughter's back, her arms around her waist. She rested her chin on top of her very familiar firey red curls. "Cerene, this is Anders. He used to be a very good friend of mine," she explained. "He helped me, as did your father. He's here because we need to talk to him, that's all."

Cerene cocked her head and Hawke could have sworn one of her long, elven ears twitched. "Why is he tied up?"

"Well…That's a bit complicated to explain, love." Hawke turned and hugged her daughter to her. Cerene giggled and squirmed in her arms. "Mommy! Stop it! You'll smother me." She laughed. Hawke relented reluctantly with a small chuckle. She set her on her feet on the floor with a smile. Her hand ruffled her daughter's curls and then she leaned down to kiss her cheek, Cerene making icky faces all the while, in that stage where parental affection was all ew. It only made Hawke laugh, remembering when her own mother had gone through that with herself, her sister, and her brother. All dead now…she recalled. She sighed and poked her daughter's puffed cheek as she pouted. "Will you go get your father for me?" At that Cerene perked up happily, nodding enthusiastically. "Go have Uncle Sebastian tell you a story after you do that, ok?"

Cerene gave a girlish squeal of laughter and ran out of the room on ever-so-silent feet. Great, Hawke rolled her eyes and fell back into the chair with a small laugh. A rogue _and_ a mage; that's what she suspected, having watched the effortless way in which her daughter moved, her instinctual sense when it came to bows and daggers, stealthy movements, and yes, dear Maker, she had even caught Cerene picking locks once. A rogue and a mage, hm? Hawke had never heard of such a thing, but then, as she looked upon her mage friend, she had never heard of such a display of magic as great as from Cerene, save one time – when Justice had blown up the Chantry of Kirkwall. Aveline had spared her no details, she thought with a frown. The guard captain had been the one to tell her that her brother had parished in the great struggle, when the mages and templars had clashed in one last, climatic battle. Anders had only managed to escape because of the chaos, Avenline explained once in her letters. If he hadn't disappeared, she'd said, he would have been put to death. Not even tranquility for him, just a death sentence(Hawke knew he'd prefer that to Tranquility anyhow). That final display of magic was why Hawke had sought him; she truly believed that he was her only chance at finding out what was going on with her daughter's magic.

"As lost in thought as ever, I see," her husband drawled from the doorway. She jumped and scowled at his smirk, before relenting and smiling. She stood from her seat, glanced over at Anders once, before moving towards Fenris. He smiled and met her, his arms sliding around her waist to pull her close. Their lips met next, gentle and loving, before his became more insistent. He broke it off and lifted his head, hooded eyes peering over her head to look at the bound, unconscious mage. "Has he woken yet?"

"No," Hawke sighed, a tad breathless from their kiss. "Not once. I'm worried."

Fenris scowled but only sighed and shook his head. He looked back down into his wife's beautiful face; to think he'd been a part of her for a decade. Every day had been happiness – with an occasional tif – but he would not have traded a single moment for all the riches in Thedas. "Don't worry so much, dove, or you'll turn grey," he teased as he fingered her lovely red curls, that had hints of silver grey in them.

"Oh, that's fair coming from _you_," she laughed and turned her head to nip the underside of his wrist. He hissed out a breath and groaned. He then promptly scooped her into his arms and turned to walk from the room, despite her feeble and half-hearted protests. Once they reached their bedroom, Fenris tossed her playfully on the bed and locked their bedroom door. He then turned to her with a determined look, heading over toward her with purposeful steps. Hawke squealed and rolled off the bed as he pounced on it. He was quick to jump off though and she laughed, dodging him by ducking under his arm and bolting toward the couch by their fireplace. It went like this for awhile, playful bantering, chasing, before he finally pressed her to the wall by her back gently, pressing up against her shapely behind as he began nibbling at her ear.

"You _minx_," he muttered sullenly against her ear causing her to shiver. She made no move to escape this time, instead leaning her head back against his shoulder as he began laving her neck with kisses and nibbles. He moved his hands from her own – where he'd had them pinned to the wall – and trailed them up her arms before cupping her breasts in them. He gently kneaded at them as he bit her neck, laving it shortly after with his tongue. His fingers tweaked her nipples as they hardened, his hips rolling into her rear instinctively. Her moans were like music to his ears and only stroked his fire higher until he swore he would burst into flames over his desire for her. He pulled back and turned her around, pushing her back against the wall, this time with her facing him so that he could devour her mouth as his hands worked her breasts. Their tongues and moans mingled together, like soulful music, working inside their souls to make them ache.

Fenris took his hands from her breasts and slid them down to work the openings to her robes, letting it hang on her shoulders as he slid his hands inside to cup her now bare breasts. She moaned and dropped her head back, breaking their kiss accidentally, but he only smirked and dropped his head, his tongue laving across the swell of her breast to her nipple. Her breathing pace intensified and she began to tremble in his arms as he sucked her nipple into his mouth strongly, swirling his tongue around the peak until she was a mewling bundle of passion. As he did this, he trailed his hand down her flat, still toned, abdomen, before he deftly slid it within her smalls to stroke his fingers over her damp netherlips. Her body shuddered and he could only smile with happiness against your breast that after ten years, ten long years, he could still do this to her.

Her hands gripped his hair tightly, despite it being braided, and he hissed with pleasure at the slight sting it provided. He worked two fingers into her, slowly beginning to stroke her fire, building it higher and higher until he rubbed his thumb over her bud; she snapped like a coil pulled too tightly, moaning his name as her thighs tightened and quivered around his hand. He, too, moaned, the ache of his straining erection becoming too much to handle. He pulled away from her and swept her trembling body into his arms, kissing her hotly, teeth clacking together as they ate each other up. Swift steps carried them to the bed where he laid her with a smile, stepping back to begin stripping himself of his armor. Her eyes watched his every movement as she propped herself up on her elbows, tongue darting across her lips when he was left in nothing but his smalls.

"_Fenris, my Fenris,_" she groaned out as she fell back against the bed. He shuddered at her husky, needy tone, and quickly shucked his smalls as he climbed onto the bed. He removed her robes fully now and then kissed his way down her body, licking her belly button to make her squeal with a giggle, before he hooked his fingers into the straps of her unders and removed them, kissing every inch of her leg as he did so.

He climbed back up her body with his mouth, very teasingly touching his tongue and lips to her center for a moment, before he was up and kissing her senseless once more. Her hands gripped his back and her legs hooked on his hips to bring him closer to her; he relented at her urgency and moaned as he found himself deep inside of her with one swift and easy thrust of his hips. She cried out into his mouth and he shuddered at the tight grip her womanly core had on him, it hot and so very wet around his cock.

"_Move, Fenris, please, move now,_" she mumbled into his lips, her eyes alight with desire and her cheeks flushed with passion. He groaned; who was he to deny his love? He did as she asked and began to piston his hips, sliding in and out of her again and again, kissing her until neither of them had the ability to think logically anymore. They moved together like two souls who were meant for each other, no special techniques, or moves, necessary as their bodies came together again and again perfectly, like two pieces to a puzzle. His brands blazed their bright blue glow and sweat dripped from his brow, his hands tight on her hips and he thrust. He pushed her to the edge, stilling to watch her face as she bathed him in her hot release, his very soul quivering with the intimacy of this private moment. He couldn't hold back now, and he gripped her hips even more tightly, her finger nails scoring his back as he pounded himself into her until he too, and she again, cried out with their climaxes.

Ever so slowly, the two came down from their high and he pulled himself from her to tumble down, laying at her side. His arms pulled her against him and he held her tenderly, whispering in elven that he loved her, that his soul was hers, and she smiled, knowingly, having come to know the meaning over the years. It wasn't as if he evaded telling her, but when he said it to her like this, she really felt like a part of him, that she really was his and he hers. They bathed in the aftermath of their lovemaking, content to hold each other and listen to their amazingly joined heartbeats.

"Fenris…I have to tell you something," Hawke finally said as she lifted her head from his chest to look down into his handsome features.

He blinked open his eyes, a little wary – he had learned over the years that when a woman said that a)they needed to talk, or b)they had something to tell you – it was something serious. He ran his fingers through her hair and then cupped her cheek, looking up into her beautiful blue eyes. "You can tell me anything, you know that."

"Last week, when we went to go find Anders…" she started, before she stopped and bit her lip. As endearing as Fenris found it, he gently make her look at him again and kissed her lips until she relaxed. She relented with a sigh and then smiled. "I wasn't able to tell before because it was something that had never happened to my body before, but I can tell now."

He only blinked and cocked a brow in confusion, not really comprehending where she was going with her words. Hawke giggled softly and leaned down to kiss him for a long, loving moment. When she lifted her head to peer down at him, her smile was enough to catch his heart afire with his love for her. "I'm pregnant, Fenris," she confessed with a blush.

His eyes widened. And then he burst into happy laughter, rolling her over to pin her down on the bed, raining kisses all over face. She laughed and squirmed, before holding his head still. "You're happy about this?" she asked with a curious look on her face.

"Beyond happy. I have never been more blessed than to be with you – the family you have given me means the world. To know that we've created another child with our love…it's an amazing feeling, minx." He chuckled and kissed her until they both couldn't think straight, not that they wanted to.

* * *

><p>Ahh! I love fluffy smut! ^_^<p>

Please review!


	11. Chapter 11

I'm going to be posting an update to each story all at once; whoo, I'm actually working on all three at the same time right now. One after the other though, not all at once. Crazy, lol.

Every review means so much! Thank-you and please review if you have time!

Disclaimer: I don't own DA…or Fenris. ;_;

* * *

><p>It was two days later that Anders opened his eyes. Except that it wasn't Anders. Those flaring blue eyes were boring into Hawke as she stood at the window, where she looked out over the rolling landscape of Starkhaven; the mansion, or palace, was nestled in the hills just outside of Starkhaven where the lands were green and fertile, awash in flowers and laughter, happy people and bubbly children, flourishing merchant shops and content middle class, and nobles – Sebastian had made Starkhaven live up to its name. With Justice's stare burning into her back, Hawke gave the Maker a silent prayer that she would not bring ruin to what Sebastian had worked so hard to build from almost nothing. Slowly, she turned to face him.<p>

"Justice. Listen to me," she started but was cut off by the snarl Justice spit out on her. It broke her heart to see such a look of hatred on Anders' face, which had always held a caring, or concerned expression when he used to spend the days in his clinic. To think such a man had fallen so far, her friend; was he the only one who hadn't ended up in a better life? "Stop that. You're bound and only my magic can release you." Hawke crossed her arms and braced her legs, staring him down.

Justice scoffed. "Mortal, there is nothing you can do to bind a fade spirit like me." When he struggled, she only smirked and waited until he growled with frustration and stilled. He didn't say anything else, just glared at her for a very long, chilling moment. As much as she didn't want to, she inwardly shuddered; what if her magic couldn't hold him? How long _would_ it hold him?

"You're not even curious as to why I went to find you?"

"You didn't find _me_, I found _you._" He grunted, pulling his wrists against the physical binds, as well as the magical ones. It couldn't hold him for long, he knew. Why not bide his time? There wasn't much else that could happen, as long as he kept that obstinate counterpart buried deep in his mind.

"Wrong," Hawke chuckled and shook her head. "You just happened to come upon on us on _our _search for _you_. Or Anders, if I am to be completely honest with you. You…you just happened to come with the friend I need."

He scowled and yanked at his binds, his chest heaving with jealousy and anger as that blue aura flamed around him. "_Why?_" he growled out word bitterly.

Hawke sighed and moved closer, taking a seat on the chair beside the bed as Justice continued to struggle with his holds. She folded her hands on her lap, fingers twitching ever so slightly now and then as Justice pulled with all his might; the thread of her magic, she could feel it stretch taut, barely holding strong, before he fell back with a frustrated huff. "I need Anders' help," Hawke said as she lowered her eyes to her hands, not wanting to admit that fact to _Justice_. She then raised her eyes back to his bravely to find that Justice was watching her with lowered brows and a slight frown.

"What for?" He finally asked with a sigh, falling back on the bed in partial and temporary defeat.

"I really should speak to Anders about it," Hawke mumbled, not trusting the spirit to take a genuine interest in her concerns. Justice only scoffed and shook his head, a long lock of blonde hair falling over his glowing eye. "What?" She glared, crossing her arms back over her breasts.

"You really think that spineless fool could do anything to help you?" Justice shook with laughter, crossing his ankles, beginning to find some amusement in his predicament. "Anders cannot help you, much less anyone else."

Hawke had to take a deep breath to keep herself composed, her teeth biting her lower lip to use that little sharp of pain to curb her irritation with the spirit. Finally, teeth grit with annoyance, she said, "That's only because of you. Deep down, I know you know that. Anders' hate, his anger, and feeling of being treated unjustly; it has warped you. You used to stand for true justice, not this warped.." she made a gesture with her hand "…sense of vengeance."

Justice scowled. "What do you know mortal?"

"I know what Anders had told me. He respected you, he cherished you; you were his _friend_, Justice. He felt guilty for what happened to you, that his feelings changed you. And yes, I know you never approved of his feelings for me, but because of those feelings he confided in me and I began to know who Anders was as a person," she sighed softly at the memory, when she had sat in Anders' clinic with an injury. Anders had set her on one of the beds and went about healing and bandaging her, their conversation became intimate and confidential. Feelings and words only shared between friends.

Justice frowned tightly. "Just let me hear what you need help with," he said gruffly, his aura beginning to die away; Hawke didn't let it fool her, she didn't let her magical restraints falter an inch.

"On one condition," she compromised. "Let me speak to Anders first. I promise, on my blood as a mage, we will talk again, Justice." It wasn't a lie, not really. She would talk to Justice again; she owed Anders that much for being her friend. If he could help her with her daughter, she would help him with his possession.

Justice regarded her for a long, long moment, and then sighed, knowing he would not be able to convince her otherwise, he nodded. Those glowing blue eyes closed and Justice went limp on the bed. Hawke watched on anxiously, but he remained motionless for awhile. Long moments passed and then she leaned forward toward the mage, looking at him closely. Just then Anders' eyes popped open and she jumped back surprised, but happy to see those warm, amber eyes that she had not seen in so very long. "Anders," she smiled as she said his name and he blinked several times, regarding her for a long moment.

"It this real?" he croaked, trying to sit up but found that he couldn't, eyes looking to see that he was bound to the bed posts. His brows pulled down tight and then he laughed softly, looking back to her with a sheepish grin. "It can't be. Only in a dream would you tie me up."

Hawke blinked a few times, much as he had, then burst into soft laughter, pressing the back of her hand against her lips to stifle it. He watched her with confusion, and then blushed when he did indeed realize that this was real when his stomach growled so loud he was embarrassed. "It's quite real, I assure you. Unbelievably, you have been asleep for nine days. I am sure you are in dire need of food." She stood up at the wide look in his eyes. She walked to the door and opened it. "Fenris!"

There was a moment of silence before Anders could see the elf standing just outside the door, looking the same as ever with his silver white hair, long ears, the black armor, and jade green eyes; the only difference the mage could notice was that his hair was longer and tied back in a braid. That must have been Hawke's idea, he mused with a slight quirk of his lips. She talked with him for a few moments, a frown tight over Fenris' lips as he glanced at him over Hawke's shoulder. His lips moved but Anders couldn't hear anything from the bed. Hawke stamped her foot and stuck a hand on her hip; Anders' brows raised up as Fenris narrowed his eyes at Hawke, before he smiled and leaned down, kissing her – he assumed. He really couldn't see well from his position. The elf then pulled away and disappeared from the doorway. Hawke left the door open and moved back to sit in the chair, offering him a small smile. "Now, Anders…before I ask you what I need to, I'd like to know how you have not lost weight or become malnourished in your nine day coma. I was worried but it seemed I didn't need to be."

Anders shrugged – the best he could with being tied up – and gave her a sheepish grin. "You knocked out Justice. The sleeping phase is where I spend most of my time fighting with the spirit now. It is hard to keep track of time in your mind. I had just managed to nearly wrestle away control, when he used my weakening state to wake up in control. I weaken, but Justice does not. The connection he has with the Fade keeps whatever host he's in alive, so long as it is alive. Kristoff…well, when he possessed Kristoff, he was already dead and thus Justice walked around in a corpse. That's when I met him. But just because he can sustain from the connection, does not mean I don't suffer. I am starving," he explained.

"I…see," she said after a long moment of contemplation. She cocked her head and regarded him with a curious expression. "May I ask something of you?"

"Anything, Hawke. You know that, but may I ask to be let out of these bindings? I am becoming rather…uncomfortable."

"I'm afraid I can't let you free, just yet." Hawke told him with a regretful frown. She leaned forward and touched her hand to his dirty and somewhat tattered coat. "Justice tried to kill us, Anders. He tried to kill _me._ I am surprised I managed to convince him to let you out, but there are…people here I cannot risk harm to."

Anders swallowed hard, visibly, and nodded. "I am sorry I hurt you, Hawke. Justice is out of control, I know…I wouldn't risk harm to you and your…elf." He stilled slightly on the last word, still not very fond of Fenris; they had never gotten along. In truth, he had been heartbroken when Hawke had run away from Kirkwall, then furious when he realized that the _elf_ had been the reason, then heartbroken again when he'd been left alone. Without Hawke there, he had fallen easily enough of out the group, Isabella and Varric being the only ones who even made an effort to keep him involved. Anders had been amazed that Aveline hadn't put him behind bars. Sebastian and Fenris had left as well, Sebastian's departure a little suspious, but Fenris' expected. Things had only gone downhill from there. Meredith and Orsino, and Elthina – they had all worked Justice into a rage. So that fateful day, when everything had just become too much, Justice had taken his body from him completely for the first time – and proceeded to blow up the chantry of Kirkwall. To think while he had been suffering that the elf who'd been a thorn in his side, had all along been happy here with the woman he had secretly been in love with since the first time she'd helped him try to rescue Karl from the Templars.

Hawke seemed to have caught him wandering about his memories, a knowing smile gracing her lovely lips. "My husband, Anders," she whispered, a secret twinkle in her beautiful blue eyes that had always threatened to consume him. Her words caused his heart to ache and his chest to tighten so badly he found it hard to breathe. _Her husband?_ That elf had become her _husband_? He swallowed. "Anders, it's not just him though."

"Who…who else?" he croaked, his voice not wanting to cooperate with him.

"I…I have a daughter, Anders." She confessed with an almost embarrassed laugh. "And I have another on the way, another child, I mean. I don't know if it will be a girl or boy."

Anders could force a smile onto his lips for her and he did, though he found he wanted to weep from the feeling of complete loss. There had been a chance, though slim, that when Hawke had fled, he could have found her when he escaped Kirkwall, during his travels throughout the land. Find her and confess that he was wildly in love with her, and would never hurt her the way Fenris had; he should have figured that when Fenris left, he would have found her. Before he could think more on it, he found her hand on his cheek, her body much closer now as she knelt beside the bed.

"I'm so sorry for what you've suffered, Anders. You were always a great friend to me and I was selfish when I fled from Kirkwall; I had no idea what it would cause to the people I cared about. I think I can help with Justice."

He just stared at her, his lips agape. "What?"

"I think I know of a way to separate you and Justice, so that you may just be yourself again. I know deep down that it was not you who blew up the chantry, but Justice. I hear the whispers and the rumors of a glowing blue mage who kills anyone who trespasses where ever he may be. I want to free you from that. I…I only ask one favor in return." Her eyes suddenly turned sad as she pulled her hand from his cheek and placed herself back in the chair.

"Hawke…what is it? What's wrong?" He was genuinely worried now; he'd only seen that look on her face a time or two before, when one of her loved ones was in danger.

"My daughter…she's ten years old now. Last year…she displayed her first use of magic."

"That shouldn't surprise you – you are a powerful mage, Hawke. As was your sister, and your father. Surely you expected that she would be a mage," he said, not really following why she was so worried, save that she may think the Templars would come for her and her child.

"I know," she nodded, looking down at her hands in a solemn silence. Softly, she started again. "When I first displayed my magical inclination, I had simply frozen over my supper because I was stubbornly refusing to eat it. Bethany, her first time was when I fell from the roof and broke my arm; she healed me. My daughter…Anders, she set the whole Starkhaven stable on fire in a split second. She stood inside the flames, untouched, eyes glazed over. And it just kept growing, eating up everything in its path. It took a great deal of my magic to freeze over the fire that had burst from her. I have never seen anything like it in my life, and neither have any of the other people I've sought out. I'm scared for her. She hadn't changed, become an abomination, but there was something unnatural about it."

"Oh Hawke, I'm sorry. I will do anything I can to help you, you should know that. I would help any mage in such circumstance, especially you," he consoled, his heart in his throat. He, too, had never heard of such a display – especially a first display – of magic.

Hawke smiled and let out a soft sigh. "Thank-you, Anders. You are really my last hope. As I said before, I will do anything in my power to help rid you of Justice in return for your help."

"What's her name?" Anders then asked.

Hawke blinked once, then twice, caught off guard by his question at first. Then she smiled down at her hands. "Cerene Bethany Hawke."

Anders couldn't help the smile that broke over his lips. "It's a beautiful name, Hawke. You sister would have been honored."

Just then there was a gruff clearing of a throat, and Anders turned his eyes to the door to find Fenris standing there with a tray of food in his hands. Hawke jumped up and moved to him, her hips swaying as they always had, tempting the mage with forbidden thoughts. He felt Justice stir and stubbornly clamped down on him. He heard Hawke speaking to Fenris, all the while the elf was watching Anders with a guarded look, his body tense as if he expected the mage to attack at any moment; he couldn't blame the man. He had just tried to kill them both days ago, or at least Justice had.

"Fenris, love, he's agreed to help us," she was saying, Fenris only nodding in return to her words. "I am going to unbind him so that he can eat, but I will keep my magical restraints on him to keep him on the bed should Justice decide to return."

Anders could see Fenris was uncertain, his jade green eyes turning back to look at Hawke with love and concern. "Will it be enough?" Fenris asked her. She nodded and he passed the tray to her, Fenris leaning down a bit to gently kiss her brow, his hands squeezing her hips affectionately. Hawke walked over and set the tray on the chair, gesturing to Anders to wait a moment as she returned to her husband. "Fenris, I need you to retrieve Cerene. I would like Anders to take a look at her." If he wasn't tense before, the elf was certainly tense now. Hawke rubbed her hands against his arms and smiled encouragingly. "If you don't think my magic will be enough, you and Sebastian are more than welcome to stand guard." Fenris nodded and turned to walk from the room.

Hawke turned back to Anders and walked over to undo his physical bindings. He could feel magical binds forming over his ankles and legs, holding him to the bed as she then undid his unseen arm binds. She helped him sit up and he absently rubbed at his wrists, his back against the headboard. Turning away, she grabbed the tray and then turned back to place it in his lap. Anders' mouth began to water and he embarrassingly wiped his sleeve over his lips as the smell of meat hit his nostrils. They flared with hunger and she smiled, taking the lid off his plate and setting it on the nightstand. He was treated to an assortment of duck, pork, and beef; it was almost too much. The bread was gone first, then half his water, before he began to devour the meat. Hawke only chuckled as she took a seat again, watching him eat rather enthusiastically. Once he was finished, she fetched him a wet cloth to wipe his face, he laughing a bit with shame at his lack of control as she took away his tray and set it on the nightstand as well. She covered the plate with its lid and then sat back down in her chair.

Anders regarded her with his charming amber eyes and smiled then. "What?" she asked, slightly perplexed by his expression.

"Even with slightly grey hair, you're still beautiful," he commented, though he knew that he too had grey hair mixed in with his normally dirty blonde hair.

Hawke laughed softly and leaned back, her hands in her lap. "Still a charmer, I see," she teased.

He swept his arm over his middle and bowed in her direction with a wink. "At your service." Then they both burst into laughter, enjoying a familiar moment of comradely. After a few moments of shared laughter and friendly conversation, Fenris entered the room again this time with a small elven girl following him, with Sebastian right behind her. Cerene ran to her mother and plopped herself in her lap while Fenris moved to stand behind Hawke, placing his hands on her shoulders a little possessively. She only smiled and kissed a hand as Sebastian came forward to sit on the edge at the foot of the bed.

Sebastian inclined his head, though he was tense and angry – inside, for the grief he'd suffered at the mage's hands once he'd heard what had happened to Elthina and the chantry. "Anders, I am glad to see that Hawke managed to find you in one piece," he said politely.

"Mostly one piece," Anders replied with a sigh. He then turned his eyes to the young girl sitting in Hawke's lap and took a long moment to study her. She had elven features, he saw. Though her face was much like her mother's, much the same as the bright red curls that spilled to her slim shoulders and the ever so stealthy freckles dancing across the bridge of her nose. She had Fenris' green eyes and quite obviously his ears. Anders couldn't deny it though; Cerene was just as beautiful as her mother. To think such an innocent, pretty little girl had caused a whole stable to ignite without a thought. He gave the girl a charming smile and bowed slightly again. "Hello there, my name is Anders. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Cerene giggled and tried to hide her face in her mother's neck. Hawke smiled and leaned down, whispering something into the girl's ear. With an exaggerated sigh, Cerene turned her face back to Anders and lowered it in a half bow of greeting. "My name is Cerene," she said lowly, before jumping back up to snuggle against her mother, her head now resting on Hawke's shoulder as Fenris ran his hand over her hair affectionately.

"She's beautiful," Anders said with a small smile.

"I know," Sebastian, Fenris, and Hawke all said at once. They all looked at each and smiled knowingly, before turning individual glances back to Anders.

"I would like to see her hand, please," Anders then asked.

Fenris' hand tightened on Hawke's shoulder until she winced, where then he immediately loosened his grip with a muttered apology. "It's alright, love," Hawke said as she turned her head to look up at Fenris. "It's how a mage connects with another mage. Remember when I first touched her when she was born? I connected with her, felt that familiar pathway, and knew that is what she was. It is a lot like that," she reassured him. He nodded tensely.

Sebastian had his hands curled in his lap, as tense as Fenris was. Anders wondered vaguely at the behavior – the prince was acting like a father, not a friend. Was there something here that Anders had missed? The child was quite obviously part elf.

"Cerene, I would like you to hold hands with Anders. Is that ok?" Hawke asked as she nuzzled her daughter's hair absently. "Alright mommy," the young girl said as she lifted her head away. She moved to the edge of her mother's lap and held out a hand somewhat shyly to the mage. Hawke kept her hands on her daughter's hips protectively; she trusted Anders without a doubt, but there was no telling if Justice was going to make an appearance again or not. Anders turned on the bed to the best of his ability given his restraints and held out both his hands, taking the child's small hand in between his own. An electric, knowing shock went through him and then back through Cerene – whose eyes widened – and then through Hawke since her touch kept them connected. It was expected.

However, what happened next was completely unexpected. Hawke was the first to go, her eyes widening slightly as her whole body tightened like a coil, before she fell back against the chair losing consciousness. Cerene next, doing the same, before whatever had caused that traveled to Anders through their touch. He grunted and stiffened, before he too fell back on the bed into the dark embrace of unconsciousness, missing the scared and terrified looks on Sebastian and Fenris' faces.

Together, the three of them fell into the Fade through their connection. Little did they know the passenger they'd brought with them, one who was more than familiar with this place, much more familiar.

This visit to the Fade would prove to be the most challenging experience of Hawke's life.

* * *

><p>Phew. That one took awhile, but I hope you enjoyed it as much as you've enjoyed the others.<p>

8 pages in a word document! I'm so proud of myself, as silly as that it. Now off to work on a chapter for one of the other stories; feel free to check them out if you liked this one.

Please review! ^_^


	12. Chapter 12

Hawke wasn't entirely sure what had happened. All she knew was that when she opened her eyes, she wasn't in the bedroom in Sebastian's estate anymore; not exactly. Her eyes fluttered open and she put a hand to her forehead for a long moment, feeling lightheaded and a little woozy. Slowly she dropped her hand and pushed herself up – from a bed it seemed. She swung her legs over the edge and blinked rapidly as the room came into focus; it was the same room as she had been in, save the lack of furniture. The room was empty, all except for the bed she was sitting on. It seemed misty, foggy, though she knew it was not. She swallowed. There was only one explanation – she was in the Fade.

The realization made her jolt. What had happened? The last thing she remembered was holding her daughter and Anders' taking the girl's small hand in his own. Then she woke up here. Eyes widening, she jumped up from the bed and raced to the door, flinging it open without a care. "Cerene! Cerene!" She screamed out her daughter's name and ran down the long hallway until she came to a singular door. Panting, she flung the door open, tears in her eyes; where had her daughter disappeared to? The room she came into now was achingly familiar. Anders' clinic was laid out before her, empty save for the two or three cots that had always housed low income patients, mages; anyone who came calling for the mage's healing power.

On each cot sat Anders. Yes, there were three of them; she blinked several times just to make sure. All of their backs were to her, elbows braced on knees, heads held in hands. One was sobbing, another laughing, and one just sat as still as a marble statue. She stared, not sure how to proceed; a mage was to never trust the Fade. Things were never as they seemed. One of these could have been the real Anders, but at the same time, he may not have been any of them, just shadows of his self.

"Anders?" She said cautiously, her voice echoing hauntingly in the small room.

Each of the Anders raised their heads, all turning to look at her in unison. One continued to cry, she could see the tears running from amber eyes. One continued to laugh, even more when he saw her. The other just stared, an unreadable expression on his face. "Ah, Hawke," they all said at once. They all stood and moved toward her; subconsciously her fingers twitched in defense, but they just simply came to stand before her, side by side.

"I regret everything," the sobbing one said sadly.

"I regret nothing!" The laughing exclaimed.

"I don't know what to do, who am I really?" The stoic one asked her.

"Anders…?" She stared at them cautiously.

"I wanted to love her, I wanted to be with her, I wanted to be free, save the mages; I never wanted to kill anyone," he sobbed.

"She loved Fenris! She was with Fenris! I had to make them all pay! The mages had to be free, no matter who had to die!" He laughed.

"Should I tell her? Should I continue to love her or let her be with Fenris? Can I kill to keep the mages free? What should I do?" He asked of her.

Hawke felt dizzy, almost overwhelmed. These must have been parts of Anders. His Regret, his Instability, and his Indecision, she decided. She hugged the sobbing one and whispered words of comfort in his ear, stroking his hair. He smiled softly and disappeared. Turning to the one of Indecision, she held his face in her hands and looked him dead in the eyes, explaining to him in soft words that he had to find his path and stick to it, believe in his choices and do what he thought was right. He, too, smiled and faded away. Instability stared at her, then began laughing maniacally, shaking his head and backing away from her. Despite his actions and his words, she held her arms open for him; the gesture was enough for the shard of Anders to see that she accepted him, despite his flaws. A smile and then he was gone. Hawke was standing in the clinic alone, but opposite of her in the wall was now a door. Her worry for her daughter spurred her own fast feet to the handle, flinging the door open as she had the others. A light blinded her and she winced, covering her eyes with her arms.

The light faded and she saw Anders again, this time standing in the study of her hightown home. He was leafing through a book in front of the fireplace, this fixture the only in the room; they always seemed to be empty besides key pieces. What was going on? Why was she seeing Anders over and over again? She cautiously approached this Anders, again not sure if it really was him or not.

"Go away," this Anders murmured. "I don't need your help. I don't need the Wardens. I don't need anyone. I can do it all on my own." He flipped a page of the book. A tear slid down his cheek and it was instantly that Hawke knew this was Loneliness.

"Oh, Anders," she whispered his name sadly and stepped up beside him, laying her hand on his arm. "You never have to do anything alone. I am your friend and I would do anything I could to help you. That's what friends do. I care about you. I would never see you suffer. I would help you with anything that was within my power, as I am helping you now, I hope. You don't _have_ to be alone."

"Hawke…I knew I could count on you," Loneliness whispered before he disappeared from under her touch. The fireplace faded, a door replacing it just soon after. Swallowing hard, Hawke walked to it and opened it to find Anders standing directly in front of her.

"Why should I trust you?" He snapped out, angry with her for what she did not know. "You may be a mage, but I don't know you! You could turn me into the Templars in a moment's notice! You could turn your back on your kind, I have seen it before!"

Distrust; that had to be who this Anders was, she knew. "Anders, you can trust me. I know I fled Kirkwall, but did I not stand by your side every moment before that? Did I not risk my own happiness? I saved mages time and time again, even though it pushed the man I love further away from me. I tried to save, Karl, remember? I fought and killed those Templars who made him Tranquil. I would do it again with no hesitation."

"Yes, Karl," Distrust whispered, embracing her before he faded away.

What exactly was going on? Why was she running into piece after piece of Anders? Was he in the Fade with her? Was her daughter? She trembled and briefly hugged herself. How she hated the Fade. There was no way to tell what was real and what wasn't; it was all a matter of perception. Was she putting Anders back together, or just facing illusion after illusion? It could be an elaborate ruse, specifically designed by a demon to keep her busy and distracted. Raising her eyes, she saw she was standing in another hall. This time she did not race, but simply walked along the wall. It seemed to go on forever and she wondered briefly if she had failed, and forever cursed to wander the Fade.

As that thought went through her head she suddenly found herself standing in front of a large door, big enough to fit an ogre through. She tried desperately to push it open, but couldn't. Looking around, she saw that this was the only way for her to go as the hall behind her had turned into a dead end. She tried to open the door again to no avail. Stifling a sob, she fell to her knees and sighed; then she felt hands on her and she was standing again. Looking around her, she saw all the Anders shards she had saved. They all smiled to her and nodded toward the door. She nodded back, pressing her hands to it. They set their hands on top of hers and all together they pushed. The door barely budged, but the only pushed harder and harder until it finally opened enough to allow her through. When she turned back to thanks Anders, she found she was alone. She smiled to herself and turned back, sliding through the Hawke-sized crack in the door.

Cerene was dancing in the center of the room around a Rage Demon, clapping her hands while a fire blazed around her slight form, very similar to the way it had the day she'd set the stables ablaze. The sight made Hawke tremble and she yelled her daughter's name, darting forward, her staff suddenly appearing in her hand. Cerene looked up at her with that strange stare and giggled, before turning and fleeing, disappearing. Hawke cried out in denial, but was then flung back by the Rage demon. She hit the wall and then the floor, a groan escaping her lips. She pushed herself to her feet as the demon came at her, roaring. She spun her staff and blasted the demon with a Winter's Grasp, freezing the fire –forged demon for the split second she needed to blast it with Fist of the Maker; it wasn't often that Hawke used her Force Mage abilities, but she needed to shatter this pain in the ass. And indeed she did. The force fist hit the Rage demon and it shattered like beautiful glass, falling to shards on the ground. Hawke bolted forward through another door, coming to stand within her old bedroom in her old home, her hightown home once again.

The only fixture this time was her bed, the very same one where she had conceived her child.

She saw herself in that bed, lying asleep with tear-stained cheeks, a pillow hugged to her chest. It must have been _that _night, the very same one that had resulted in her child. It made her heart ache to remember the way she'd felt when Fenris had left her there, claiming that their shared night had been a mistake and never should have happened in the first place. Even as she watched, Anders walked right on by her toward the bed.

She jerked. Anders hadn't been in her room that night. No one had. She'd made sure of that. As she watched the Anders approached the bed and knelt beside her sleeping self. He leaned down and whispered something to the sleeping Hawke, before cupping her cheek. His hand slid slowly down, along her jaw, her neck, her breasts – watching this she flushed red – before coming to rest on her abdomen. He was whispering again, his hand beginning to glow blue; the light grew brighter and brighter before it released, disappearing into the sleeping Hawke's body. Anders stilled then and slowly turned his head to look at her, Hawke's very soul chilling to ice when she saw those glowing blue eyes. An evil smile crawled across that handsome face, before the room disappeared and she found herself standing an empty, stone walled room.

Was that an illusion of the Fade, or a memory? Had Justice done something to her baby?

Hawke shuddered and walked along each wall of the room, looking for an exit but finding nothing. She tried blasting the walls with fireballs, but nothing budged. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light and when she was able to see again, Anders was standing in the center of the room. When he saw her, he gave a cry and rushed to her, pulling her into his arms and hugging her tightly.

"Hawke! Oh dear Maker, Hawke. I'm glad you're safe!" He cried as he held her. Suddenly he stilled and held her back at arm's length. He studied her for a very long moment. "Wait. This is the real you, isn't it?" he choked out.

"I could ask the same thing of you," she sobbed, hugging him to her as he had hugged her to him a moment before.

"Thank the Maker," he whispered.

After a moment, they pulled away to survey the room together. "How did you get in here?" Hawke asked as she slid her fingers across stone after stone.

"I'm not sure exactly. I saw you collapse, then your daughter, and then I woke up in a bed here in the Fade. I kept crossing you…or so I thought. It was like pieces of you," he said as he did what she did, feeling along for any switch or crack in the stones.

"It's been the same for me," she confessed. "The only difference was I saw Cerene; she was surrounded by fire and dancing with a Rage demon. I don't want her to be possessed. I can't bear to think of my baby as an abomination."

Anders froze and frowned at the stones. "I've never heard of such a thing…to dance with a demon. Though I have to confess to you, I have never seen a child abomination, or heard of one."

Hawke shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself; her precious daughter an abomination? Never! She swallowed and then turned to look at Anders' back as he resumed his search of the wall. "Anders…did you come to see me at all that night I left Kirkwall?" she asked, hesitantly.

"Not that I can recall. I was busy with a patient in the clinic if I remember correctly."

She frowned and glared at the floor. Was the Fade playing tricks on her? It could very well be, she'd never know for sure. But then again, the Fade would often reveal hidden things to masterful mages, or demons would offer up important memories as a lure to lead them into temptation. Very cautiously, she tried another approach.

"Had…Had Justice taken control from you at any point before the Chantry explosion?"

She saw Anders stiffen and shake his head quickly, denying the possibility; the quickness of his denial made her shiver. "The Chantry was the first…" he whispered, "…that I remember."

Oh Dear Maker. Her head spun. So that memory could have been real and Anders would never have known that Justice had snuck into her room and done something to her baby. _Had_ the spirit done something? Or was Hawke just becoming paranoid, uneasy, piecing together pieces of a puzzle that didn't exist?

Anders turned to face her, but they both cringed as the room burst with a flash of light. They covered their eyes and when the light faded, and let their arms drop, they found themselves standing in a room much like the Warden-Commander's throne room at Vigil's Keep; how Hawke knew that, she didn't know. Sitting in the high backed chair where the Warden-Commander, the Hero of Fereldan, would pass her judgments was Justice. Legs crossed and arms folded across his chest, the spirit watched the two of them from his perch. Hawke was surprised to see that the spirit had chosen to keep Anders' form in the Fade, those glowing blue eyes locked on them like a hunter who'd found his prey. While Anders wore the gold coat and breeches he had always worn, Justice was dressed head to toe in the same clothes, but they were stark black, and on his head he wore the Warden's helm, wings coming from each side of the helmet. Hawke shivered as a chill raced down her spine.

"Justice," she whispered, stepping closer to Anders until she could grab his arm in her own.

"So glad to see that you recognize me," Justice chuckled.

"Did you pull us here?" Anders asked, furious. His fists were clenched and Hawke could feel how his body trembled with anger.

"In a manner of speaking."

"Where is my daughter?" Hawke asked, releasing Anders and daring to take a few steps toward the throne with her staff clenched in her hands.

Justice chuckled again and swept his hand out in an arch until it pointed toward a door. As if on cue, Cerene came skipping through the door, on fire as Hawke had seen before. Those flaring red eyes were watching Hawke as the young girl came to stand just beside Justice. The spirit touched the girl's head with affection and Hawke's heart turned to ice in her chest.

"What did you do to her?" she screamed, Anders mirroring her words a second after her. They were both trembling with barely suppressed rage.

"Just as I am Justice, a spirit of the Fade; there are others. Virtue, Love, Anger, Revenge, Lust, Affection – any fleeting emotion you could think of, there is a spirit for." Justice continued to pet the girl's hair and she nuzzled into his hand as a tear rolled down Hawke's cheek. "What you saw was indeed a memory, Hawke. That night you fucked that elf, I knew you would conceive, just as I knew your child would be a mage. The magic in your family was just too powerful for your child to end up _not_ being magically inclined. I slipped into your room that night and planted a beacon in your womb, where is nestled safely in the embryo in which your daughter formed from. She could be what you would call my…failsafe." He paused for a moment, basking in the sorrow that was now emanating from the two mages before him. Ruthless now, he continued. "Once I merged with Anders, I was no longer Justice, but Vengeance, so I sought to make sure there was a way to continue my…_line_, should something happen to me. Say like, you and Anders plotting to separate me from my host and forcing me back to the Fade." He laughed and gently patted Cerene's head, before giving the girl a gentle nudge to step forth. "This spitfire whom I called to take home in your daughter is the spirit of Destruction."

"A pleasure to meet you," the angelic voice said as the girl dipped into a mock curtsy, giggling all the while.

* * *

><p>D:<p>

I hate Justice! *Pouts*

Review please! I didn't want to stop here but I am tired! So much writing in one night.


	13. Chapter 13

I made Justice the enemy in my story, as you can all see, but I want it to be Anders' redemption at the same time. I found that he was a good man before Justice became warped inside of him; I like giving happy endings, even to him(Fenris is still my favorite! :D). With that in mind, I present to you, the second to last chapter. And, FYI, I like keeping you guys hooked because some of you do the same to me and I love it!

Disclaimer: I do not own DA. :(

* * *

><p>Hawke stood as frozen as a block of ice as Destruction's giggles echoed throughout the throne room of the makeshift Fade version of Vigil's Keep. The little look-alike danced away from her and Hawke's eyes watched almost lifelessly, her hand reaching out desperately though she was certain there wasn't a thing that could be done; how long had she tried to help Anders with Justice, after all. Anders was screaming at Justice with barely restrained rage, but she couldn't hear him. Words came to her, but she was deaf. Shock and denial was coursing through every neural pathway of her body, blocking out every sense save for her sight that was locked like a fireball on Destruction as she danced around Justice's throne.<p>

"No," she desperately whispered, beginning to shake her head back and forth. Her staff dropped to the ground, all eyes flying to her as she dropped down soon after to her knees. Her body shook with unrestrained sobs. She wrapped her arms around herself and cried into front of all of them, her heart breaking to pieces in her chest. How could this have happened? Her daughter, her precious daughter…no, her and Fenris' precious daughter. Anders dropped down to his knees beside her, wrapping his arms around her to hold her as she cried. They barely heard the "Tsk Tsk" before a blast of energy hit them, sending them both flying back several feet; a cry of pain came from both of their lips as they hit the ground, a good deal of space between them now.

As they came to stand on their feet, they heard Justice chuckling to himself as he gestured toward them. "As heartwarming and touching as your gesture of friendship was, I found I couldn't stomach it," he laughed.

Anders growled and took a step forward, his magical aura flaring into life around him. The staff she had gave him thirteen years before when they'd first became friends, the Apostate staff with the Skull atop it, appeared in his hands. He held the skull before his mouth and sucked in a breath, muttering something angrily before he pulled it away and thrust his head forward, spitting an enormous fireball at Justice. It soared through the air straight at the spirit, but then an ear splitting scream caused them to fall to their knees, holding their hands over their ears as they watched the fireball fly across the room. The screaming little fire spit that was Destruction danced to stand before Justice, catching the fireball in her hand easily and then with a laugh, she swallowed it, a hiss of steam following a moment later.

Hawke dropped her hands and Anders dropped his as well; while she trembled with fear as she climbed to his feet, he came to stand in disbelief and shock. After a moment to absorb exactly what had happened, Anders moved to cast another spell. Hawke stepped in front of him and gestured that he remain absolutely still. As he moved to say something to her, she shook her head silently asking him to be quiet.

"What's the matter little Hawke?" Justice taunted her, crossing his arms back over his chest as Destruction sat cross-legged by his booted feet. "Have you lost your nerve? Or have you given up on your plan to rid yourselves of me now that I have your daughter?"

Hawke narrowed her eyes at him and thought carefully; Justice had always been formidable enough on his own, now that he had another spirit to help him, was there any chance at all? Wait. Justice was on his own, she realized. From Anders. The spirit was separated from Anders at this exact moment as they all faced off. Wouldn't that mean that Destruction was only the spirit form of herself, _outside_ of her daughter? She sent a prayer to the Maker that she was right and swallowed hard, motioning to Anders to stay where he was as she began to approach the throne. She ceased moving when she was standing just beside the staff she had dropped. Making no move to pick it up, she simply stared at Destruction as she giggled, rocking back and forth as she held her small ankles. Very slowly, she raised her eyes to Justice.

"I know what I have to do," She said simply.

Justice cocked his head and raised a brow, before he shook with barely restrained laughter. "Oh pray tell, what is it you _have to do_?" He taunted her as he smothered his amusement, uncrossing his arms to put his hands on the throne's arm rests. He curled his fingers over the edges of it and in that moment, Hawke found that Justice truly looked the ruler that he was trying to be. It made her shudder, but she held strong, glancing back at Anders. A knowing look passed between the two, one that said "Trust me!", before she turned to look at Justice.

She clenched her hands tightly into fists. "I just have to defeat you."

He stilled for a moment before he threw his head and began laughing. After having to catch his breath, figuratively speaking, the spirit sighed and looked at the woman standing so determined before him. "What makes you think it will be so easy?"

"You know damn well this is wrong, but I will still lay my life down to stop you. Do you think you deserve your freedom?" She slowly shook her head, swallowing her heart that had somehow felt as though it had lodged in her throat. "No, I don't think you do. There is no justice in the world, there's no _real _justice in the world and there never was. Just as it happened with you; when justice meets man, it becomes warped and twisted to fit whatever the demands of it are. Mages didn't deserve what the Templars called Justice." She paused briefly to study Justice as he sat still to absorb her words. Then her eyes fell on Destruction with sadness evident in her features. "And it wasn't justice that took my daughter. That was just you – all you."

There was a long pause and even Destruction stopped her insistently annoying giggling to look up at Justice in question.

"I won't rest until I _justify_ my reasons with your blood, Justice," Hawke said as she leaned down to pick up her staff, standing straight with it held out before her in a defensive stance, bracing her legs apart. "But first…_you. You_ are _not_ my _daughter._ You are merely a spirit like Justice, using a host body to hide yourself where you have no right being in the first place. I will destroy you and free her."

Justice burst into laughter and Destruction began giggling again as the two of them came to stand as well. Appearing in Justice's hands were a very frightening sword – as long as her staff – and a shield with a demon's face on it. In Destruction's hands appeared a staff, an exact copy of the one she was now wielding against them. Anders came to stand just beside her, leaning on his staff as he held onto it with one hand.

"So it has come to this old friend," Anders said, almost sadly. Justice only laughed and Anders sighed softly, shaking his head. "I am sorry I turned you into this demon. I know it's my fault but I can't let you free now that you have done this to a completely y innocent child." He touched Hawke's shoulder with his free hand and they nodded together. His amber eyes found Justice's flaring blue ones. "Hawke has shown me I am strong enough to finally free myself; and together? We're invincible."

"We'll see," Justice replied coolly as he stepped down from his throne, Destruction following his every step. Hawke jumped back until the length of the room stood between her and the spirits, Anders stayed; he had more experience with combat against a sword wielder than she did. Magic was Hawke's thing being a mage and all, but Anders – having fought darkspawn, escaped Templars, the Wardens – he had the ability to stand head on against a foe.

Everything was still for a very long moment before Justice gestured to Destruction. The young girl alive in flames then gave a burst of speed, running past Anders to aim her run straight at Hawke. Anders would have turned to do something, anything, but before he could, Justice was there, swinging his sword down on the distracted mage. Anders had barely enough time to bring up his staff to defend himself, reinforcing it so that it did not snap at the sword strike, but instead caused the blade to glance of it. Justice stumbled but reared around quickly; Hawke could see them begin their struggle but could not focus on it. Destruction came to stop a few feet from her, giggling insanely as she spun her staff and called down fire from the heavens; firestorm, great, just what she needed. Hawke had to roll and doge each fireball as it rained down, moving closer and closer to the girl before she managed to smack her away with the end of her staff; a part of her ached to hit any child, especially one that looked exactly like her daughter. As the girl screeched, making her wince, and took her to her feet a little ways away, Hawke had to remind herself that this was _not her daughter._

"Fenris, please give me strength; our daughter needs us," she whispered. Twirling the staff in her hand she slammed the butt against the ground, causing a shock wave to knock Destruction off of her feet again and yes, even Justice; Anders kept hold by jumping in the air just as the shock wave rolled under his feet. Anders nodded his thanks and shot a lightning bolt at Justice who just barely managed to block it with his shield. Hawke cast Crushing Prison on Destruction as she tried to get up. The Fade spirit screeched as her whole body became enveloped in pain, hovering off of the ground, jerking this way and that through the length of the spell.

Destruction and Justice both screamed out then, causing Hawke and Anders to have to cover their ears, both stumbling away from their perspective foes. Hawke grit her teeth as pain exploded in her head; she dropped her hands, her nose beginning to bleed at the pressure in her temples, but she gripped her staff tightly and screamed against the pain, slamming her staff against the ground. She released the magic from within her and the room began to flash as her Tempest spell began to strike at the two Spirits, bolt after bolt hitting them but leaving Hawke and Anders completely unharmed; that spell had never harmed a loved one or a friend, despite being so powerful and area consuming. The bolts against the spirits made the screeching stop; she and Anders found themselves standing back to back, breathing heavily as the Tempest spell began to fade away leaving very angry but harmed spirits staring at them with flaming eyes.

"Don't you dare think you can beat me," Justice growled out as he took a step toward them.

"Too late, I already did! You're the delusional one to think you can defeat a mother whose child you've stolen!" Hawke snapped back as Destruction mirrored Justice and took a step toward her. She swallowed. Despite being in the Fade, where all magic originated from, Hawke knew she was weakening and that Anders had to be too.

Destruction moved to open her mouth in that screeching way again and Anders turned to send an electric bolt into her chest. She screamed and shot back, hitting the wall hard enough to bounce off of it before she fell to the floor. Justice roared out in anger and rushed Anders, the two coming staff to blade again. Hawke growled and pulled her staff back at her side and then thrust it out at Justice, a Stonefist slamming into his unprotected side to do exactly as Anders had done to his partner, sending the spirit into the wall viciously. Anders cast a Heal over the two of them and Hawke found that she must have been hurting, because she suddenly felt much better; the adrenaline must have kept her from feeling any of her injuries. Hawke smiled in thanks to Anders, and then frowned as she turned to look at the two crumpled spirits opposite of them.

Hawke cast her Second-Chance aura around her and Anders as they began to walk toward Justice and Destruction where the unconscious spirit lay beside him. She flipped her staff over and pressed the blade point to Justice's neck as he huffed, staring up at her with disbelief. "I beat you fair and square _demon_," she snapped out and then, with an almost a sad expression, she sunk the blade into his throat. Justice screamed and writhed, yanking the blade out and throwing her over on her ass. He began cracking apart, bursts of light shining through; to her surprise, Anders began to cry as the spirit that was once his friend burst into beautiful shards of glass before disappearing completely.

"Cerene," Hawke gasped out her daughter's name as she scrawled to where Destruction was sprawled out on the floor. The spirit opened her eyes and stared at Hawke for a long moment, cocking her head curiously. Anders stood just behind Hawke defensively, despite the tears running down his cheeks.

"I will retreat to the Fade; this isn't where I belong," the surprisingly gentle voice said and then the flaming body before her simply faded away into nothing. Before she could panic, a flash of light blinded them long enough to miss the real Cerene appearing unconscious on the ground where Destruction had been lying a moment before. The light faded and they both blinked several times, before Hawke cried out with relief, hugging her daughter's sleeping Fade body to her own. Never had Hawke experienced something as so dreadful at the fear she had felt when she'd thought her daughter had been lost to her forever. Tears spilled from her eyes freely and fell on Cerene's cheeks. The young girl stirred and Hawke lifted her head to look down as those beautiful jade eyes opened to stare back at her.

"Mommy? Where are we? Why are you crying?" The young girl croaked out, sitting up with the help of her mother and Anders, whom knelt beside her and laid his hand on her back to 'feel' for any injuries with his magic. He nodded to Hawke indicating that Cerene had not suffered any damage from the brawl she'd had with her possessed spirit.

"This is the Fade, love." Hawke said softly and she pet her daughter's hair. "It is a place all mages can go to. You have powerful magic just like your mother, which is what allowed you to be brought here with us. Everything is okay now, I will stop crying, I promise. Let's just get back to your father; he is no doubt tearing apart the house."

Cerene giggled as they all came to stand on their feet, though Hawke was quick to pick the girl up in her arms. "Don't forget about Uncle Sebastian," she said as she wrapped her arms around Hawke's neck and yawned, laying her head down on her shoulder.

Anders cocked a brow. "Uncle Sebastian, huh? Kind of suits him."

Hawke laughed and nodded. A dizzy, light-headed feeling came over them again as a door appeared just in front of them. Anders nodded and walked to the door, opening it; Hawke took her friend's hand in her own and together the three of them fell through the door into darkness.

* * *

><p>Please review! Last chapter coming soon!<p> 


	14. Epilogue

I wanted to wait just a little bit to post the last chapter but I so close to finishing that I just couldn't wait! So without further ado, here is the very last chapter to Unexpected!

Disclaimer: I do not own DA! Damnit!

* * *

><p>When Cerene, Hawke, and Anders all came to they – save for Anders – found themselves under worried and anxious stares from both Fenris and Sebastian. Apparently they had all been unconscious for half a day, thrashing about in their sleep, and just before they all woke up, both Cerene and Anders had flashed brightly – he blue, Cerene red. Swallowing, Hawke swung up from the bed and took her daughter into her arms. Sitting beside Anders, she then began to long process of explaining exactly what had happened.<p>

When it was all said and done, Hawke's chest threatened to explode with pride as she saw Fenris shake hands with a very perplexed Anders. "I may never have liked you, or agreed with your choices," the elf started as he released the mage's hand, "but I owe you thanks for saving my family."

And just like that, Anders had become a part of their odd little family. Sebastian had set him up in a small home just outside the large manor where they all resided, not entirely trusting the mage enough to be where they all slept; in time that prejudice would fade as well. The months passed uneventfully. Anders had returned to his normal self, Justice finally gone allowing the mage to live his life. He didn't go out much and never ventured far from the main home or his own; his face was still known everywhere as the mage who'd set the circles all over Thedas afire by first reducing the chantry of Kirkwall to ashes. No one knew that hadn't really been him, but there was no way they could explain that to anyone and have them believe that. Instead, he offered to stay and watch after Hawke during her pregnancy.

Hawke got bigger day by day, week by week, and after six months she was worried she was getting too big. She'd asked Anders to check her and was astounded when the mage's warm amber eyes had looked into her own as he chuckled softly behind his hand, muttering that poor Hawke would be having two babies this time. She couldn't believe it and not surprisingly, neither could Fenris. At first her husband thought the mage had been playing a morbid joke on them but as Hawke got bigger and bigger, they took to heart that Anders really had been telling the truth. She was indeed having twins. Just like her mother before her, she'd had one child – a daughter – and now twins; the very same as her mother if it turned out to be a boy and a girl.

Not totally surprisingly, that's exactly what happened to Hawke. Just like Leandra Hawke, Necroditei had an eldest daughter and two twins, a son and a daughter. Anders delivered both of them without complaint, rather happily, much like his old self these days. He cut their cords, passed one to Sebastian and the two of them cleaned the babes up before putting cloth nappies on them, swaddling them up, and taking them to their anxious parents. Fenris held their newborn son, looking down in awe at his very _first_ son. Hawke smiled and mumbled a thanks to Anders, who smiled in return, cleaned her up best he could and then took the now eleven-year-old Cerene from the room, despite her protests. Sebastian followed them, softly shutting the door behind him once he'd slipped from the room.

"It seems to have happened again," Hawke murmured softly as she laid her head against Fenris' shoulder as he sat beside her on the bed. They both leaned back against the headboard, content to hold their newborn children. "Mm?" Fenris briefly leaned his head back to look down at Hawke. She lifted her head and laughed softly, nodding it in direction of the twins.

"Cerene got everything from you except her hair," she said, touching a hand to her newborn daughter's snow white hair. She glanced at their son who too had the white strands atop his newborn head. The twins stared back at them with cerulean oceanic eyes, exact mirrors to their mother's eyes. "Seems the twins got everything from you except their eyes this time," she said with a small laugh. Fenris looked between the two, who stared back happily, waving their little hands at them. Then he too laughed softly.

"It appears that way," he admitted. "What shall we call them?"

Hawke found herself looking down at her daughter's snow white hair with a knowing smile. "I'd like to call her Snow Leandra Hawke, if that is alright with you, love." She said, letting her newest daughter wrap her tiny fingers around her pinky.

"It's perfect, minx, goes very well for what I had in mind for our son," he chuckled, kissing the top of his wife's head. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her to him. "This little warrior is Leto Carver Hawke."

She jerked in surprised, having to rock Snow a bit as she protested the sudden movement. Hawke turned wide eyes up to Fenris, her brows arched so high he thought they would shoot right off of her head. "Leto?" she asked, her voice cracking. "I didn't think that was something you wanted to remember."

"It wasn't at first," he admitted as he pulled her close again, smiling with amusement when he saw that both the twins had fallen asleep. "When I first remembered my name, I didn't want to remember that part of my life. It was my past. But it is something I would like to honor. If I hadn't become Fenris, I never would have met you and been given this amazing, beautiful family." He kissed her head and smiled a little nostalgically. "We honored your sister with Cerene, your mother with Snow, and I would like to honor your brother with Leto; they were all taken from you cruelly and unjustly. It's only right we hold them in our family."

He felt Hawke tremble and knew without looking that tears were sliding down her cheeks. "Thank-you Fenris, for everything."

As they rested there in that bed with their two newest children, Fenris couldn't have been happier. His every mistake, his every misstep, had led him to this beautiful woman, Necroditei Hawke, who had gone through nearly as much as he. Despite his continued missteps, she gave her most precious gift to him; herself. Cerene, Snow, Leto, and Hawke; he wouldn't trade his beautiful, perfect family for every treasure in all of Thedas, nor the greatest power in all the world.

His life had been Hell for so long, but that painful road she and he had both walked, had led them directly into Heaven.

* * *

><p>It was short but the story is finally done! And thus concludes Unexpected; I hope you enjoyed reading Hawke and Fenris' story as much as I enjoyed writing it.<p>

Thank-you all again for your continued reviews and kind words! :)


End file.
